Lost But Not Yet Broken
by Sinful Wolf
Summary: What do you do? who do you become? when pain is all you know. Harry must learn how to be human with the help of Severus snape, Draco malfoy, and what! Lucius Malfoy. Yup! REVIEW!
1. Soulless

Lost but Not Yet Broken  
By: Mystic Dragon  
1. Soulless  
  
An: Yes BDL sucks! Now I'm finally typing yay! Ok I'm going to lay off on the crack. Anyway hope you enjoy the read.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it wish I did so that I can rape DRACO!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
  
Leading you down into my core  
  
Where I've become so numb without a soul  
  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
  
Until you find it there and lead it back home  
  
Evanescence - Bring me to life  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The human mind is fascinating in all respects. The thought that one can be manipulated to believe a lie about themselves, about their lives, about their - humanity, that one can suffer for years on end believing it is right, believing they deserve it, believing the pain is what keeps them alive. To eight year old Harry Potter this is his reality and he knows it well because he has been conditioned for a life of servitude and pain. Now, he stands in front of his uncle's fireplace, but he does not know this man is family - it does not matter, his fists clenched tightly, as he endures another one of this man's punishments. They are his punishments meant for only this boy with the emerald eyes that would enchant the strongest angel to fall, fall for him, for this boy.  
  
However, little Harry Potter did not flinch, nor did he cry or scream at the brutality of the heavily leathered whip that struck his tender flesh with a resounding crack. No, little Harry Potter, who through the cruelty of his uncle did not even know his true name, never fathomed that he was worthy of a title, of an individuality that made him human. He accepted each an every blow like an animal being disciplined by their master after having tamed it. For this was how this boy had been raised since the moment his master, Vernon Dursley, had laid eyes on him.  
  
The pain increased again as the whip tore through the young but heavily scarred skin leaving another reminder of who he belonged to, the man's words resounded in his mind like echoes from a far away place "You are mine boy! You do as I command and nothing more!" They repeated themselves in his mind with every crack of his punishment; he would recite them and adhere to them. Until the pain faded and eventually stopped leaving a throbbing reminder of what he was as he walked back into his cupboard limping slightly and sagging from the ache that threatened to engulf him in complete darkness. Little Harry never questioned it when the other boy, Dudley, hit him and screamed at the larger man that the "boy" had done something wrong. At first, he would get angry or cry but then oddities began to happen when he did; glass would explode, chairs would mysteriously break, plants would burst into flames. This always confused the boy as he was always punished severely for the aberrations but over time he just stopped getting angry and stopped trying to comprehend and accepted what he was.  
  
Harry sat on the hard wooden floor of the minuscule cupboard that had been deemed his cage. No sound was heard except for the clicks of the locks as the man locked him in from the outside. Then the man spoke, his voice hard with a glint of pleasure in it as it came threw the heavy door.  
  
"Tomorrow you'll stay in your cage until I return."  
  
"Yes sir" was all the boy said, it was all he ever said.  
  
"Next time you don't finish *boy* it'll be worse!" the man bellowed.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
The boy remained silent as he heard the retreated footsteps of his "master", once gone he settled himself into a corner of the small room and brought a thin raggedy old blanket, which was bloodied and soiled from years of use, and pulls it over as he tries to ignore the throbbing. The pain of the actual punishments no longer fazes him but the throbbing ache that remains always made it inconceivably uncomfortable for him to sleep. And thus little Harry Potter falls into a restless sleep wondering if he'll be allowed some food and water tomorrow.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Professor Severus Snape strode through the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry having just finished attending a faculty meeting. This man with the shoulder length raven hair and pale complexion was not a cheerful man, life had brought him many hardships some more gruesome than imaginable. He was a stoic man whose aura commanded respect and fear. To those around him he bestowed a bitter disposition completely devoid of emotion and marred with indifference. However, despite what others thought Severus Snape was a good man who valued integrity to the highest degree but always alone. Utterly alone.  
  
Now, he strode the halls like a silent hunter of the night, a scowl meeting any who crossed his path. He entered his chambers, which lay deep in the dungeons of the grand castle, and settled comfortably in a high back chair next to a roaring fire. Many colleagues wondered about his choice of living accommodations, assuming that perhaps he was a supernatural creature such as a vampire and simply enjoyed the dark dampness that the dungeons provided. However to Severus it was a perfect area that provided his need for privacy and quiet.  
  
Thus, he sat in his solace pondering about the ignorance of life and how futile it truly was. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered. Suddenly an urge to distract his tortured mind arose; he trudged towards his lab obtaining what he would need for the summer stay at his manor. After about twenty minutes he was done and getting ready to floo to the manor however, much to Severus' utter dislike the orange - red flames of the fire shifted to a bright green and the head of none other than Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, appeared. 'Perfect, I should of suspected this' were the only thoughts running through the potion master's mind.  
  
"Ah Severus my boy, good you have not left yet" said the old man, his eyes held a mischievous glint that Severus did not miss. "No" was all the raven haired man said, his tone clearly telling the older wizard that whatever he had in mind it was futile to try and coax him.  
  
"Now Severus you do not even know what it is, and truth be told you are the only available person who can do this for me. Please, come up to my office and I will explain further" with the Dumbledore's head disappeared from the fire leaving a seething potions master.  
  
'Damn that devil of a man' raged Severus silently as he trekked up the stairs to the headmaster's office. He entered, not bothering to knock, his face passive and cold as the headmaster smiled at him innocently.  
  
"Ah Severus please take a seat, may I offer you a lemon drop?" said the overly cheerful man.  
  
"Why have to summoned me?" Severus' remained cold and indifferent.  
  
"Ah well yes, you my boy I was hoping you could do a random check up on a child for me."  
  
"Ah child" Severus raised one weary eyebrow "is this *child* a student at the school and can Minerva not go instead?"  
  
"Actually he is a future student; he has three years left before he can attend Hogwarts. Minerva unfortunately has already left to France."  
  
"Yes." drawled Severus "how fortunate that I still remain out of the other seven professors that are currently still here."  
  
"Severus I can only entrust this to you.."  
  
"Headmaster just tell me why you need me to check on a child who has not even started his Hogwarts education?" asked Severus indifferently as he stared out a nearby window and onto the grounds.  
  
"Yes, well Severus as you know magical children begin showing small bursts of magical energy by the age of three. The force of this energy is determined by their emotions, and continues until the age of ten when they obtain a bit more control over their magic."  
  
"Yes, thank you for the intriguing lesson. Now what does this have to do with..."  
  
"Patience Severus please. Now sometimes these magical outbursts cease for about a month or two because the child's emotions are not as strong as they would be."  
  
"What you are saying is that this child hasn't had any magical outbursts for awhile and you want me to find out why" Stated Severus.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"However, if it is normal for these outbursts to stop every so often then, why the concern?"  
  
"Because my dear boy" Severus scowled at the term "this child hasn't had any sudden occurrences for over a year now. And that is not normal at all" said Dumbledore solemnly.  
  
Severus sighed in defeat; he knew there was now way he could get out of this assignment before heading home. "Very well headmaster. Who is the child?"  
  
Severus noticed the man's eyes twinkling more than usual and almost backed out of the burdensome duty that was about to be placed on him. However, he stilled his features and waited for the headmaster's response. What he heard was not at all what the stoic man had expected and he found himself cursing the fates to hell as the realization set in.  
  
"Harry Potter."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Severus: WHAT!? I have to pick up that little snot!  
  
Harry: -_-  
  
MD: Well think of this way he's apathetic so he's like a vegetable.  
  
Severus: I don't think that's the best example you could of given.  
  
MD: Fuck off or I'll make you end up dating him.  
  
Severus: You wouldn't dare!  
  
MD: Oh wouldn't I?  
  
Severus: fine! *sits down and starts reading a potion's book*  
  
Harry: -_- *continues to stare at potion's book which creeps out MD*  
  
MD: yeah.. ok. 


	2. Savior's Touch

Lost But Not Yet Broken  
2. Savior's touch Mystic Dragon.  
  
An: well after a very freaking long hiatus I'm back. Ok not true I've been here but I've been working on Demon Tears with Black Dragon Lady who currently has yet to update that story 'Damn Bitch' for all who wish to know, I am her beta reader for Tears of Vampire unfortunately she neglects to send me the chapters before she posts them and thus you get what you get.  
  
An2: Anyway I do plan un updating as much as possible. I'm really happy about this fic and I hope everyone enjoys it. OH! And don't forget to review, they really encourage me.  
  
Disclaimer: Uh it's in chapter 1 and don't you forget it!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Wake me up Inside  
  
Wake me up Inside  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
  
Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Evanescence - Bring me to Life *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'Blast that man! How does he always do this to me? Memo to self: next time ask the identity of the insufferable brat before accepting the bloody assignment!" Severus Snape mentally ranted and cursed every God he could think of for the predicament that he had landed in. 'I wonder if placing the killing curse on oneself is possible.hmm I'll have to look into that later' thought the pale man as he approached number four privet drive in the early Saturday morning mist.  
  
His gaze settled on the muggle house that appeared to be so normal that it looked abnormal. The front lawn was perfectly trimmed not one object was out of place. As Severus neared the front door, dressed in a casual black long sleeved muggle shirt and black muggle pants, he stilled his hand about an inch from the door let out of suffering sigh and knocked thrice on the door. Suddenly, he could hear rapid shuffling and a door being slammed as he waited semi patiently. By the time the door swung open revealing a grotesque man about the size of an elephant, he was already scowling. The man looked him up and down taking in his appearance before acknowledging the slim raven haired man.  
  
"What can I do for you sir?" said the man trying his best to smile but only succeeding in making Severus' stomach churn.  
  
"I'm here to check on a boy." Said Severus coldly, his eyes told the man that he was not a man to be toyed with.  
  
"And who are you?" the man's eyes narrowed.  
  
"My name is Severus Snape Mr. Dursley and if you please stop wasting my time."  
  
Vernon Dursley was shocked at the ferocity in the man's voice and allowed the pale skinned adult to enter before they continued. "Perhaps if you tell me what the boy looks like or his name I will be of better help." "His name is Harry Potter." Severus noticed Dursley's eyes slightly widen at the name.  
  
"I'm sorry but there is no one by that name here" said Dursley, his hand slightly twitching.  
  
Severus eyes narrowed at the nervous twitch that had appeared in the larger man. Then he caught sight of something red on the wooden floor near the fireplace. 'Is that blood? What is he hiding?'  
  
"Really.. Well Mr. Dursley I must disagree."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"Because, I know without a doubt that you are lying" Severus' tone remained cold and indifferent.  
  
Vernon Dursley's face purpled in anger at the implication and rose from his seat "How dare you!"  
  
"How dare I what Mr. Dursley?"  
  
The corpulent man rose from his seat, his face displaying even more anger "get o." the man was cut off by a loud crash in the kitchen, followed by the screeching rants of a woman. Severus abruptly stood and proceeded towards the kitchen before and purple faced Dursley could stop him. As he stepped through a painfully thin woman was ranting in rage at a small boy with wild ebony locks.  
  
"Stupid boy look what you've done. Now my Dudlykins has to wait even longer for his food. Clean this up boy and expect to be punished by Vernon!" shrieked the horse faced woman whom Severus assumed was the pudgy man's wife. However, the woman's words started to sink in and Severus looked down at the boy, currently picking up still steaming bits of bacon with his hands the still hot oil burning the young skin as he did so. Severus knew instantly that this boy was Harry Potter, although he noticed that boy didn't flinch at all as he dipped his fingers into the hot oil to grab at the burning strips of bacon. He could already see small blisters forming on the boy's hands from the burns. Severus turned to see a red faced and very nervous Vernon Dursley.  
  
"Now, Mr. Dursley." growled Severus loosing some of his famous control, the sight of the boy having unnerved him "I wish to speak to Mr. Potter in the living room if you please" Severus left no room for discussion thus, Vernon Dursley could only nod as Severus stepped out of the kitchen.  
  
"Boy! Come here" cried the beefy man as he followed Severus.  
  
Severus noticed the boy slightly limp out to the living room, his head was down and his dirty bangs covered his eyes from view. 'Is that dried blood in his hair' Severus pondered as he took in the boy's appearance; he wore clothes that were more rags than anything, they were brown and black from dirt and what Severus strongly suspected as dried blood. The boy reeked; apparently he hadn't showered in a long time. Severus was startled from his analysis by Dursley's harsh and cruel voice as he spoke to the boy.  
  
"Boy, you will behave for this man. Do you Understand" the last three words were spoken slowly and in a menacing way that sounded like a silent threat to the boy.  
  
"Yes Sir" answered the boy no trace of emotion was noticeable in his voice, this perplexed Severus.  
  
Vernon was attempting to sit himself in a chair before the glare from Severus made him change his direction towards the kitchen. Clearly Severus wished to speak to the boy alone.  
  
"Harry Potter?" asked Severus but he was met with no movement of acknowledgement what so ever.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
No response.  
  
"Why don't you sit."  
  
No response.  
  
"Do you know who you are Potter?"  
  
No response  
  
"Answer me boy!" snapped Severus, his patience running thin. The boy looked up, and Severus almost lost himself in the emerald of his eyes. However, the talk pale man had to stifle a gasp as he noticed the depths of the boy's eyes held no emotion what so ever, they were neutral devoid of anything. Severus was known to be heartless but this boy's eyes would put even the mighty potion's master to shame.  
  
"Sorry sir" said the boy "I didn't know you were talking to me."  
  
"Surely you know your name boy. Who else would I be referring to or have you not noticed that you and I are the only ones in this room" retorted Severus, the indifferent tone back in his voice.  
  
"I don't have a name sir" Severus suddenly felt like he was competing with this boy to see who could be more impassive.  
  
"Don't be daft Potter, of course you do."  
  
"Sir, I'm not meant to have a name you could be in trouble if you tried to give me one."  
  
"Boy! You're name by birth is Harry Potter. Did these bloody muggles neglect to mention that?" The boy remained silent as if he were not meant to answer the question. Suddenly, Severus was reminded of a house elf not beating himself for saying something offensive about their master. He couldn't explain it but the raven haired man became compelled to remove the boy from these disgusting muggles. If not for his own integrity then for the simple fact that the headmaster would have his head if he left the boy in these conditions, clearly the boy was not being cared for properly.  
  
"Gather your things boy, you are coming with me."  
  
"I cannot sir" said Harry.  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Because I won't let him" came the harsh voice of Vernon Dursley as he entered the living room a malicious smile crossed his features "now leave my property now!"  
  
"Mr. Potter is to come with me."  
  
"He is my property and he will do as I say."  
  
Severus took out his wand immediately, pointing it directly at the obese man. "I wasn't aware that slavery was back in style Mr. Dursley" Severus' tone was vicious and cold, sending shivers down the Dursley's spines. Severus turned to Harry "You are coming with me and that is final do you understand Potter."  
  
No Response.  
  
"Do you understand boy!" the potion's master couldn't refrain from snapping at the boy but received an apathetic "yes sir" from him none the less. Severus turned his attention back to the cowering family in front of him and snorted in disgust.  
  
"We shall be leaving now."  
  
"Fine take the freak, I don't need your kind here!" spat the the bulgy man.  
  
"Yes. And you muggles are perfect saints now are you."  
  
"Hmph, the boy had his talents but he's worthless, now get out!" sneered Dursley.  
  
Severus did not even bother to digest those last words, seeing as they were garbage, as he grabbed harry's shoulder and apparated away from the muggle's home. He didn't miss the startled flinch that came from the boy at the touch. One repeating thought raced through his head:  
  
'This is going to be an eventful summer.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I don't understand this man. He's like me but different. Why does he want to take me away? Why is master so angry, I must have displeased him somehow? I'll have to make sure I please this man - the man with light skin and dark hair who is he? It doesn't matter. I do what I'm told. He's angry with me because I haven't answered but I don't understand why he calls me that name. I don't have a name, do I? No, master always said I was *boy* and nothing more. Boy isn't a name but I'm used to it. I hear him again.  
  
"Do you understand boy!"  
  
See, he was mistaken. I have to answer; you always answer yes when they speak to you but don't say anything more. He's thin but he looks strong, even master is startled by him. His punishments are probably worse, well I'll just make sure to please him just like I do master. Maybe I'll get some food if I'm good. Either way punishment is punishment. Suddenly, I feel something on my shoulder I jump. It's the tall dark haired man - why is he touching me like that. I don't understand. Master never touches me unless its punishment or - I'm disappearing with the man.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
MD: phew! Writing an apathetic character is hard. I hope I got it right.  
  
Harry: since when am I like.. "Yes sir." *blank stare at MD*  
  
Draco: since you got dropped on your head *busts out laughing*  
  
Harry: *glare* what are you doing here you aren't in this story.  
  
Draco: what makes you say that?  
  
MD: do you mind not giving away everything you stupid blondie!  
  
Draco: Hey! I resent that! And I haven't given anything away. I mean common the stupid fic is in the Harry/Draco section of course I'm in it.  
  
MD: *mutters* damn you BDL how did I get stuck with your muses.  
  
Severus: That is what I'm trying to figure out.  
  
MD: don't you start with me either!  
  
Severus: well, perhaps I wouldn't if you'd get to your work! Before I strangle Potter!  
  
Harry: I have no name! Didn't you read!? *pouts*  
  
Severus: Yes my mistake. *hands a bucket of soap and water to harry* Get cleaning boy!  
  
Harry: *indignant look*  
  
Draco and MD bust out laughing as they watch Harry scrubbing the floor. 


	3. Silent Agony

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 3: Silent Agony

MD: Ah well another chapter another day. You know as much as I enjoy apathy, it's really hard to convey it in a character. There's only so much a thesaurus can do. Well BDL is driving me bonkers like usual. It's amazing how one can fight constantly and be in a state of entertainment. LoL. Well enough of my rambling. 

Draco: it's about time.

Harry: zzzzzzzzz

Severus :  *trying to stay awake.

MD: grrrrrrrrrr. UP! NOW! *blows a whistle*

Harry and Severus: I'm up. I'm up!

Disclaimer: Don't own, wish I did, will, as soon as I find something to Blackmail J.K. Rowling with. Muahahahahaahah

P.S : Lucius is really OOC. In this story but he does play a role so I need him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_I tried to kill the pain _

_But only brought more_

_I lay dying_

_And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal_

_I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming_

_Am I too lost to be saved_

_Am I too lost?_

_                        Evanescence – My Tourniquet_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

Harry and Severus appeared in front of grand manor. Harry couldn't but stare at the giant double doors that adorned the entrance to the manor like a castle gate. However, whether the boy was shocked or amazed was lost in his expressionless eyes. 

Severus muttered a few calloused words and the doors opened on their own accord. Harry followed silently behind as the dark haired man entered, a grace in his steps that were undeniable. Severus led the boy into one the manor's many living rooms. There were two sofas opposite each other, made of deep blood red velvet, and a high back black velvet chair that lay near a roaring and welcoming fire. Harry however did not even bother to sit, merely standing where he had stopped next to one of the armrests of the sofas.  

Severus was at a lost. He had absolutely no idea what to do with the boy. However, while he had lead the boy into the manor he had decided that it would be unwise to inform Dumbledore that he had removed the boy from the Dursley's, the old man would either place the boy in an orphanage or keep him in the castle where he would be equally neglected. Now, Severus knew that by not telling the old man he had basically condemned himself to take the boy in thus, his current predicament in how to go about the boy and his *conditioned* state. 'Well if I must start somewhere I might as well get him to realize his bloody name' thought Severus as he turned to acknowledge the boy. 

"Boy." said Severus. 

Harry responded by looking up. 

"I want you to understand something. Whatever those muggle fools told you it is a blatant lie. Understand." Severus kept his tone indifferent and his face remained a piercing ice cold which he noticed that Harry did not seem intimidated by it at all. 

"I don't understand sir." Said the boy indifferently so, Severus decided to go in another approach.

"Boy your name is Harry Potter. From now on you will respond to that name and not boy understood."  

'If the boy won't listen to reason then use his own upbringing against him' thought Severus. 

"Yes sir." answered Harry. 

Severus, satisfied that at least he had gotten the boy to accept his birth name, though it may have been done in a very manipulative way, he continued to tell Harry that he would be staying here. 

"From now on Potter you will remain here. You will not be returning to those muggles."

"Yes sir."

Suddenly, the last words of the fat insufferable muggle resounded in Severus mind 'the boy had his talents'. The curiosity and apprehension of the disgusting excuse for a human being meant overwhelmed Severus and he decided to find out. However, how to get the boy to answer, he obviously wouldn't answer the question if the muggle had told him not to say but what if …. 'It's underhanded and wrong but I am a Slytherin and I do need to know'. 

"Potter, show me what Dursley meant by you having talent." 

"Yes sir" as soon as the words left the boys mouth Severus cursed his Slytherin mind. 

Harry had walked up to Severus. He stared momentarily into Severus black eyes which had remained expressionless and knelt down in front of him. Severus had gone into momentary shock as the boy began fumbling with his robes but quickly recovered and moved away from the boy swiftly. Severus' mask remained in place but his mind was reeling. 'Bloody Hell! Damn. I should have just asked! I'm going to need help if Potter is to recover from this shit.' 

During Severus' mental rants he didn't notice Harry was still knelt and looking at him with a confused look marring his face. Finally leaving his musings the pale man looked at Harry the remnants of shock and revulsion in his eyes vanished in an instant as he spoke to the boy. 

"Get up." 

Harry stood "I don't understand sir, you ……" he was cut off by a sharp snap from the dark haired man in front of him. 

"I know very well what I said Potter. Stay here, I shall return shortly." Ordered Serverus not bothering to wait for the detached *yes sir* that usually came from the boy. He quickly left the boy in the living room and headed outside, pass the anti-apparation wards, and apparated leaving a very confused and lost Harry Potter to wait patiently for his return. 

*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Severus stalked hurriedly towards an enormous manor. Its walls remained dark and foreboding even in the mid-afternoon sun. A beautiful garden adorned the long stretch to the entrance which provided a striking contrast of dark and light through out the estate. Severus approached the entrance of Malfoy Manor, his hand lingered on the iron ring on the door before he let out a soft sigh and knocked on the door using the ring. 

The doors suddenly swung open and a bedraggled house elf stood in its place. "Good day Mr. Snape ." said the small creature as it allowed Severus into the manor. 

"I wish to speak with Lucius immediately." 

"Master Lucius is in his study sir."

"Then I will meet him in there." Severus brushed the lanky creature and heading straight towards the study on the third floor. Positive that Lucius would be in that particular study, he didn't notice the house elf disappear to inform her master of his visit. 

Not bothering to knock, Severus stormed into the study startling the tall, pale, silver blonde man. 

"Why Severus, what can I do the honors of your attempting to give me a heart attack?" snapped Lucius.

"I know very well that your house elf came and informed you of my presence Lucius. So, please stop with the hyperventilating act." 

"Very well. You never could take a joke Sev." Lucius smirked at the death glare he received from Severus at the childhood nickname. 

Severus finally let out a defeated sigh and sank into one of the soft chairs in that resided in the study. "I need your help."

"Oh… how so?" asked Lucius, curious to know what would possibly lead the great Severus Snape to ask for help.

"It's a child; he's around 8 years old." 

"And this has to do with me how?"

"He's been severely abused his entire life and he has some mental programming that needs to be taken care of." said Severus easily as if this kind of thing happened on a regular basis. 

"Hmm…..Wait let me guess. And you are completely lost." 

"No."

"Oh please Severus. Obviously you need me for something and you've never handled children with ….well, care." Lucius tried desperately to hide the smirk that threatened to dawn his face. 

"I know perfectly well how to take care of a child. However, this boy I don't know how to go about him. Evidently, I know he needs to be shown compassion but….."

"….you don't know the meaning of the word." Lucius chuckled at the cold piercing glare that he received from his long time friend. 

"As I recall you seem to lack some of that as well." 

Lucius's face hardened "I may not have shown mercy to my enemies Severus but I am not heartless. Especially with a child, or else how would I be fit to raise my son."

Severus sighed "Forgive me Lucius; you are a good father that I must admit. It is just this boy – I honestly don't know where to begin with him." 

Lucius softened and placed a hand on his troubled friends shoulder "you know Severus, you make so many believe you to be heartless. And hear you are swallowing your pride and asking for my help. Sometimes I wonder if I really do know you my friend, even now you keep your eyes as cold as stone…."

"This is who I am Lucius compassion is something I rarely give" said Severus icily. 

Lucius smirked "well enough with this, we are wasting time now, tell me everything from the beginning." 

Severus recited everything he had seen and done upon arriving at number four privet drive. However, he kept the identity of the boy hidden, wanting to be sure that Lucius would genuinely provide him the assistance that he desired. Severus notices Lucius' reaction shift from impassive listening to shock to revulsion and finally a faint sadness that lingered in his eyes. 

No one except his family and Severus really knew the true Lucius Malfoy. He presented himself as a cruel man, powerful and ambitious, a white devil that destroyed anything that stood in his path. However, though power, ambitious, and a driven man, Lucius Malfoy was not cruel. Even though, he followed the dark (voldie) and killed without mercy, he possessed a kind disposition under the fierce cruelty. Furthermore, the malice he exerted was also a warning to any and every one. Once Lucius Malfoy hands you his trust never betray it or you'll find yourself six feet underground. 

"Well Severus, you really got yourself in a bind this time." 

"Thank you for pointing the obvious." Snapped Severus 

"Well think of it this way if we can't rehabilitate him then he'll make a good house keeper." Lucius laughed at the incredulous look on Severus' face. 

**(An: did I mention he has a very cynical sense of humor lol.)**

"You wouldn't?" said Severus frostily.

"May..be." Lucius said mischievously. 

Severus sighed noticing that Lucius was in one of his teasing moods. "Yes. Well shall we be going then?"

"Floo or apparate?"

"Floo it is quicker."

Lucius nodded and gathered up some grayish powder while Severus did the same. The Silver blonde stepped into the large fireplace and just as he was going to yell out the name to his destination and disappear, he remembered the small detail that Severus had neglected to mention. 

"Severus who is the boy?" Severus waited until the split second before Lucius disappeared to answer.  

"Harry Potter." 

The last image of Lucius before he disappeared was of his eyes widening in shock and him spluttering "what!?" before vanishing into the depths of the green flames. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

MD: TA DA! I'm done. 

Harry: why are all you authors so cruel to me?

Draco: cause they are sadistic bitches.

MD: what did you say? *points tip of her Katana at draco's neck*

Draco: because you love harry but you have a twisted way in showing it. 

MD: much better. 

Severus: *mutters* I wonder if that spa is still open? 

Snowgirl: MD is a whore!

MD: am not!

BDL: Yup!

MD: shut up! You're more of a whore than me!

BDL: bitch!

MD: slut!

BDL: tramp!

MD: Hoe!

BDL: *indignant look* Yuki!!!!!!!!

Severus: *attempting to do the killing curse on himself* 

An: damn muses damn them all anyway that's chapter 3 hope you like so far don't worry harry will get better and draco will show up soon. Remember REVIEWS motivate me to write!......... SO REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!


	4. Breaking the Habit

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 3. Breaking the Habit

MD: LoL. I don't know if any of you have noticed but I'm screwing around with my chapter titles so don't be surprised if they don't coincide with the content in the chapter. Truth is I'm naming them by the first thing that I pull out of my ass. *ahem* I mean rear. LoL. Damn I don't think I should write with a sugar high but oh well who knows this may be my best chapter yet mauahahahahah. Update on Demon Tears chapter 8 is done I wrote it it's done about 22 pages on paper so god knows how much that is typed. TAKE IT UP WITH BLACK DRAGON LADY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATE. She's my beta and the one posting the chapters under her name. 

*cough* fanfiction.net removed it from my account due to a violation *cough*  bastards *cough. 

BDL: you're whining again.

MD: am not I am merely stating a fact. 

BDL: sure.

MD: bitch! 

Severus: god not again please!

Draco: um do I show up in this chapter at all. 

MD: DEPENDS ON MY MOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Draco: *gulp*

Disclaimer: yeah ok I'm not going to repeat myself. Who ever actually has the balls to sue me shall be considered the stupidest DUMBASS in existence. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

_When this began _

_I had nothing to say_

_And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

_I was confused_

_And I let it all out to find_

_That I'm not the only person with these things in mind_

_                                    Linkin Park [Meteora] – Somewhere I Belong_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Fire is such an intriguing substance isn't it? Red, orange, and yellow all mix together and flow as one. All creating flames hotter than Hades, devouring everything around you. They can also cause great pain. They lick at your skin tearing and burning away flesh slowly before they've burned so deep that the pain is no longer there. They can melt each other and drown themselves in a blaze from hell and yet for Harry Potter they've always been some sort of comfort. When he could he would always enjoy the fire watching the intricate dance of flames on flames. His most common punishment had always been in front of these flames thus, as he endured the pain, the agony, the blaze of those colors always soothed him allowed him to stand where his body wanted to fall and break. They'd made him strong. 

Now he stood in front of the raging inferno which licked at his bloodied and marred skin. A thousand confused thought racing through his mind. Many of which he paid no mind except for one – one that he continued to chastise himself for. 'I failed.' He had angered this man whose very presence emanates danger, he had performed dismally and now he would endure this man's punishment. 'Punishment is what it is. I would have received it either way' thought the emerald eyed child indifferently as he removed his shirt and moved to stand in front of the fire to wait for the tall slim man who would surely be much worse than Vernon Dursley ever was. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lucius landed with a resounding thud on the hard oak wood floor of Severus' second study which was a few door down from the study where Harry was waiting. Rubbing his rear as he stood he waited for Severus to arrive, a well placed death glare on his face for good measure. **(AN: favorite for those glares ****SHI**** **NE******! = die! Lol) **

Moments later Severus stepped through the fire easily, a smirk played on his features as he caught hold of his friend's glare of death. 

"You do know that as a death eater, my death glares are an omen of what's to come right." stated the silver blonde man as he continued to glare but not as strongly as before. 

"Yes. And I know for a fact that you are afraid of frogs and I happen to have plenty of them at my disposal right now." sneered Severus. 

"That was low." 

Severus only smirked but his eyes continued to give nothing of what he was thinking or feeling. 

"Yes well, we should be going to my other study that is where the boy is." stated Severus as a matter of fact. 

 Lucius smirked at him his eyes holding a mix of shocked amusement and malice "tell me Severus why I should help the-boy-who-lived hmm? After all I am a death eater, what makes you think I won't turn you in and kill him now where he stands?"

"Because you've known I was a spy for over eight years, if you had intended to ever do it you would've done it a long time ago."

"Point. But the kid, I have no ties to the kid….."

"No, you don't." Severus let the sentence stand and simply stared in the aristocratic man's eyes. 

Lucius sighed; sometimes he really wanted to pull out that damn stick that was always up Severus' ass the man could be impossible sometimes. However, Lucius had been the raven haired man's friend since childhood thus; he knew the man's way of thinking better than anyone. Although truth be told Severus could be insufferably cryptic.

"Fine, let's go see your golden boy." said Lucius sarcastically as he followed the stoic man out of the study. They trekked slowly down the few doors that separated the two studies. Once in front Severus quietly opened the door and stepped in, followed by Lucius. Both men stopped abruptly at the horrifying site before him. Both men drowned in their thoughts of shock as they stared at the young emerald eyed boy who kept slouching and then straightening, desperately trying to remain standing. 'Did he stand this entire time?' wondered Severus before his mind immediately left the question and returned to the sight that had first knocked him into undeniable shock. Harry was facing the fire his back facing the two wide eyed men. The boy's back was riddled in criss-crossing scars, many old and new. The scars ranged from short jagged ones possibly made by a belt buckle that extended onto his shoulders and arms. Others were long and deep, one running from the right of his neck line to the left of his hip, remnants from a heavy leather whip. Some began at the base of his waist line and disappeared under the baggy, raggedy pants that the boy wore. 

"By Merlin." gasped Lucius completely aghast. 

The sound of the silver blond man's voice announced their presence to the boy. Severus had regained control of his mask by then and hid his second shock as the boy turned to look at him. Behind him, he could feel Lucius fighting to not retch as they saw the front of the boy resembled his back closely. Although their were slightly less scars on his front many were covered in recently dried blood that signified the boy having been recently beaten and whipped before Severus had come to his aid. Severus noted a few small almost inconspicuous scars marred the boys cheeks as the light from the fire settled on his features, glorifying the hideous reminders of what this boy had been through for eight years of his life. Severus continued to stare; emotionless onyx into apathetic emerald. Suddenly, the boy tore his eyes away and once again faced the roaring fire. One quite but firm sentence escaped the boy's lips "I'm ready for punishment, sir." 

Lucius was to say the least completely and utterly shocked. When Severus said there was some mental programming that needed to be dealt with, the silver blond hadn't expected this. How could the boy possibly have endured for so long? Another question that rose was that from the looks of it the boy had been standing there since the moment Severus had left to Malfoy Manor because he could hardly even stand let alone stay awake. 

"Well Severus, at least he's well disciplined." said Lucius getting over his initial shock. 

"Not funny." said Severus as he glared dangerously at his friend.

"For those without a sense of humor." muttered Lucius. 

Severus ignored the muttered retort and turned his attention to the dangerously slim boy in front of him. He attempted to call him but apparently the boy still had not gotten accustomed to his name because the boy had not even flinched. Severus tried again this time stepping silently behind the boy and placing a firm hand on his shoulder. The touch caused the boy to involuntarily flinch. Lucius had an amused smile on his face as he observed the talk raven haired man attempt to speak to the boy. However when the boy flinched and then immediately straightened as if he had done something akin to a sin, the silver eyed man frowned. Lucius awoke from his musings by the sound of Severus' voice. 

"What are you doing?" Lucius winced at the unintentional harsh tone that came out in that one sentence. 

"Punishment. Sir." said the boy as if it were the most logical thing in the world for an eight year old to be beat.  

Lucius stepped up to the boy quickly, knowing that Severus was in need of some help. He knelt in front of Harry who blinked repeatedly wondering why a pale blond man was staring at him with a smile. 

"Harry is it. Well listen Severus here isn't like the other man you were with ok. If he wanted to hurt you he'd just kill you see." Lucius had to stifle a laugh as he saw Severus' eyes widen in mute fascination of what the blond had just said to a traumatized boy. 

"There are no punishments here, unless you count staring at Severus' scowl everyday."

Clearly the boy was confused but Lucius continued to press on trying to get the boy to understand that his situation was not the same as with the muggles. 

"Harry. That is your name you know. I mean think about why, would we call you that if it wasn't your name?" apparently logic was the way to go because the boy nodded in acceptance. 

Lucius stood, a triumphant smile playing on his lips as he looked towards Severus who scowled and then turned towards the boy. 

"Harry, sit down and wait here." the pale man ordered as he left he study. Harry did as he was told but unfortunately misunderstood the statement slightly for; he sat himself on the floor rather than in the plush sofa next to him. 

'Wow. Wonder what he'd due if I told him to fuck off.' Lucius snorted 'too much visual, damn my humor needs some serious tweaking. Too long being a death eater, yeah that's what it is. I wonder if Severus has figured out how to do the killing curse on him-self. That would be an interesting show.' Lucius couldn't help but laugh as Severus stepped back into the room carrying two bottles in his hands. He glared at the laughing Lucius before turning to see Harry sitting on the floor. Raising one eyebrow at the boy he addressed the boy in his most neutral voice possible. 

"Lucius, you're an idiot." Lucius looked offended but remained silent as he glared at the potion's master. 

"When I said sit down, I did not mean there." Harry looked up into those onyx eyes and stood. 

"Where sir?" he asked stonily. 

"On the sofa of course." Severus resisted the urge to chastise the messy haired boy. 

"But sir, animals weren't allowed to be on the furniture." The blatant acknowledgement of what the boy had been deemed by those sorry excuses for muggles god smacked both men. Unfortunately this also caused Severus to loose his temper, not on the boy but on the situation itself. 

"You are not an animal! Do you understand me!" hissed Severus. 

"Yes sir." said Harry flatly not moving at all from his position in front of Severus. Severus then handed the small boy a potion and told him to drink it. The boy did as he was told without question. Lucius noticed the open wounds close up leaving pink scars that had yet to fully heal. Then he gave the second bottle and the new scars as well as a few that weren't too old vanished. 

Clearly the boy was dumbfounded by the vanishing wounds because all he could do was blink. "I don't understand, Sir." he said, some sort of emotion finally penetrating through as his confusion over took his apathetic manner.

"It's magic." said Severus coldly.

"I mean, w-w-why did ...help…for me?" clearly the boy wanted to know why Severus had taken away some of the pain. Why would someone like him help a worthless little piece of scum as him? 

"Because you needed it. Now come along you need to bathe." said Severus. 

"No."

Severus and Lucius turned towards the boy shocked at his blatant refusal to bathe. 

"You need a bath, boy." hissed Severus.

"No." came the cold retort. 

Before Lucius could handle the situation Severus had grabbed Harry by the arm ignoring the wince from the boy and dragged him up to the bathroom. Releasing the boy roughly he ordered him to take a bath and be out in twenty minutes, turned and slammed the door shut leaving a motionless Harry standing there. 

"Tact has never been your forte has it Severus?" asked Lucius amusedly.

"The boy clearly hasn't been that traumatized if he can resist a simple request as a shower." sneered Severus. 

"Severus, don't even think what you are going to say because I will Cruciates your arse for being so blind." said Lucius a warning tone in his voice. 

Severus glared and remained silent. 

"Look, Severus it's clear the boy acknowledges you for some reason, whether it be because he sees you as his new owner..." Lucius stressed *owner* making a disgusted face at the implications of the word "…or he just thinks you're dangerous." 

"I think I would prefer the latter." said Severus.

"No you don't. Neither is good, you my severely snappy friend need to get him to understand that he is one; a person, two; a child, three; living with you – that poor kid just doesn't get a break does he?" 

Severus merely stared at the pale blond before he shook his head turned and walked back into the bathroom.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AN: muahahahaha! I'm not a bitch, I'm the bitch and that's Miss Bitch to you! Chapter four is done. Not the way I wanted but done none the less. Evil cliff hanger you think? Nah! I'll have chapter five asap promise. Oh but please REVIEW! It gives me motivation it does. I'm sick and look I've typed this up for you guys. So keep it coming REVIEW!!!!!!

Draco: and again I was not in this chapter.

MD: you'll show up soon promise.

Harry: why don't I want to bath I mean god I reek!

Severus: I know. Do stay down wind. 

Harry: 0.0 *glare* 

BDL: oh that was low.

Sev: thank you I learn from the bitch. 

MD: Hey! It's MISS Bitch to you! Mijo!


	5. Retrospect

Lost But Not Yet Broken 

Chapter 5: Retrospect

An: Gomen Nasai, I'm sorry! I haven't updated I'm such a bad author *sniff* nah you can blame it on life actually. I was hoping to update weekly but do to me coming up with this crap as I go and time restrictions and laziness and so on and so on I may take a while sometimes. But rest assured I will not disappear for two months or more unless I have work. Hehehehehh

Draco: I give it a month before she disappears.

Harry: yeah and she won't come back for two years. 

BDL: Bitch where is my beta of ToV 14

MD: already emailed hahahahahahh

Harry: God save me from your good people!

WARNING: disturbing scene ahead read at your own risk. AND ENJOY ^_~

Disclaimer: Again don't sue or I'll curse you I only own them in soul not body muahahahahahahhahah. *no! don't sue, me don't own.*

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave _

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Because your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_                        Evanescence: My Immortal_

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus closed the door behind him and looked at the small skeletal figure in front of him. Harry stood stock still in the center of the bathroom, which was a level of grandeur in itself. The tub was the size of a small indoor pool, lavished beautifully with dark marble tiles and next to it stood a glass door shower. The floor was a deep rich walnut wood that combined beautifully with the décor. The ceiling tended to match its outside surroundings, turning dark at night and light in the daylight. 

Severus ignored the raven haired boy, who was staring at the floor as if it was the most fascinating object in the world, sitting near the rather large tub, Severus turned on the faucets to warming up the water as it filled the mini pool. He turned back as he heard blood curling cry come from the previously apathetic boy. 

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry stood staring at the tub in the giant bathroom. He barely took in the grandeur of the room itself only focusing on the action that he had blatantly refused out of instinct. "No." he had said it with such a vicious assurance of rebellion that he knew that he would pay for his disobedience. The emerald eyed boy tried to remember why he would refuse such a simple command even though he still could not comprehend why the stoic man wanted him to bathe in the first place. But why, why did he say 'no'? He couldn't understand it. 

Suddenly, the tall slim man walked into the room. Harry decided to keep his eyes down, waiting for the blows that he knew would come. He heard the distinct footsteps of the man walking past him, completely ignoring him, and settle near the majestic tub. He heard the raven haired man turn on the facets and heard the water flow. Suddenly, a flash appeared in the emerald eyed boy's mind. His eyes widened slightly as a memory surfaced that had been unconsciously blocked. A memory that caused complete terror to flow through his veins, denial and pain all mingled into a haze of confusion. Of fear.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus immediately stood and hurried over to the boy who had begun clutching his head as if in complete agony. This had been the first spark of emotion the boy had shown since Severus had retrieved him. Severus couldn't help but stare as the boy staggered to remain standing, clutching and clawing at his head as he repeatedly muttered words in a desperate plea. 

"No-no-no….please…..no more....won't cry…..won't cry……..no-no-NO!" Harry continued his incoherent mutters as he continued to shake his head as if trying to shake out the memory that had surfaced unexpectedly. 

Severus heard Lucius storm into the bathroom. The silver blond stopped dead in his tracked as he looked at Harry, then at Severus. "What did you do now?!"

Severus resisted the urge to throttle his friend for the accusation. "The boy panicked as soon as he heard the water. Now shut up and help me before the boy hurts himself." the slim pale man said in a calculated but forced calm. Lucius immediately went to hold the small boy before he did indeed hurt himself. However, as soon as his hands landed on the boy's shoulders, the emerald eyed boy stilled himself and dashed towards the tub slamming his shoulder hard into the marble as he tripped on one of the decorative rugs. Severus had had enough and stood a few feet from the boy and pulled out his wand.

"Legilimens" 

Severus immediately felt himself entering the youth's mind. Harry being unprepared, had no idea what was happening as Severus watched in horror at the memory that continued playing in his mind. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Six year old Harry Potter worked, calmly cleaning what looked to be a muggle bathroom. Suddenly, the door of the room swung open and Vernon Dursley walked in closing the door behind him. 

"Boy. Come here." commanded the large man as he sat on the rim of the small tub and turned on the facet which ran ice cold. Harry obediently walked over to the man, he was however unprepared for back handed slap he received which, sent him to the crashing to the floor to be picked up by Vernon's rather large hand closing around his throat. 

"Well now boy. It's come to my attention that you would like to take bath. Would you like to be clean boy?" asked Vernon. Harry's mistake was responding truthfully to the man that held his tiny throat in his fist. 

"Yes…sir." answered Harry nervously. 

"Hmm well by all means get in!" with that Vernon swung Harry into the tub which was by now almost full and held the boy's head under for a few seconds before pulling his head out of the water. Then with almighty speed, the grotesquely obese man pulled out a small dagger and slashed Harry cheeks. Harry could feel the wet sticky liquid ooze out of the cuts and flow down his cheeks mingling with his tears of pain. 

"Do you really think you're worth wasting the precious water that I pay for?! You'll always be dirty boy! Since the moment you were born, I own you, I provide you with the shelter you have, I feed you, and I can end your miserable existence! Don't assume you or worth being spent on do you understand!" Vernon then slashed the slim figure's chest with the dagger repeatedly as he dunked Harry back under the water holding him under longer. The water began to turn red with the blood that flowed from the cuts that the large man continued to inflict. 

Vernon pulled the boy's head out of the water and noticed the boy gasp for breath as he tried to quite his sobs. 

"Don't cry boy! Don't cry!" again Harry went under and again the man pulled him up to slash at his arms and chest. 

"Don't cry boy!" again Harry went under held just long enough for him to feel his lungs burn with the need for air as he opened his eyes, all he could see was a crimson red haze. The water was now red with his blood and Harry could only stare at the red, red of sin, red of blood, red of pain – pain that he knew he would feel for eternity because he was undeserving of anything else. Then he felt the obese man pull out of the water and as the emerald eyed boy gasped for the breath of life his he looked at the facet where the water continued to flow. The water flowed red, red, red, his eyes saw only the crimson color of his own blood as Vernon again shouted in a gleeful tone 

"Don't cry boy! No one cares for your tears because they are worthless! Don't cry! You want to bathe, then bathe in this enjoy because this is all that is your life! Don't cry!" Vernon's tone was becoming frantic with malicious joy as he dunked Harry under the blood red water again. 

Harry couldn't breath, couldn't see anything but the red – the horrid red that flowed in his body and over his skin. His ears heard only the echoed vibration of Vernon continually telling him "Don't cry!" as he closed his eyes feeling the burn of his lungs increase and water begin to enter them – blood water. Then Vernon pulled him out and slashed one cheek again waking Harry from his lapse into death. Vernon held the back of Harry's neck as he gleefully whispered into his ear.

"You see this boy. You see this is what you are. Red is the color of blood boy and blood is pain, and the worthless always deserve what they get right boy. So tell me boy, are you still crying? Are you still sobbing over this triviality, this natural part of your life?  Have you learned boy? Or do you wish to bathe in more hmmm? Tell me boy, are you still crying?"

Harry stared at the flowing crimson that flowed around him, that he had inadvertently swallowed as he struggled pathetically latching onto his sorry excuse for an existence. Then it stuck him what the man said all made sense. Why was he crying? If he was so worthless why cry? Why feel? He should take his punishments and be done with it. With that resolution, haunted eyes stared up to see a fat man whose eyes held nothing but malicious intent. Never realizing that someone else was viewing this memory that had unconsciously concealed itself yet left the effects of its existence implanted in the emerald eyed child. 

Vernon Dursley chuckled as he heard the cold apathetic "No" leave the boy's mouth. 

"Good." With that Vernon Dursley let go of the boy, who remained in the blood water filled tub, stood and left the bathroom one solid command leaving his mouth as he closed the door behind him "clean up this mess boy." 

And Severus knew - knew that on this day - Harry Potter lost all sense of emotion, he forgot how to express those characters that defined him as a human being. 

What's more Harry Potter forgot how to cry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~*~~* 

Severus slumped to the floor in a heap, bringing a hand to his mouth as his body trembled with disgust. This boy……..' he was startled from his silent musings as he recognized the slim figure of Lucius Malfoy shaking him. 

"Severus, snap out of it!" shouted the blond man. 

Severus blinked a few times before completely focusing on the silver blond in front of him. Then reality hit him hard and the raven haired man turned away from the man in front of him to look at the crumpled figure of Harry Potter lying still on the floor. His eyes cold as steel but haunted as if trapped in the memory that had just been revealed, water still flowing rapidly from the facet. 

Severus immediately turned to Lucius his voice coming out in a dry choke as he was still in shock. "Turn off the facet." 

"What?" asked Lucius concern evident in his voice yet his face held a mask of cool perfection.

"TURN IT OFF! NOW!" demanded Severus and Lucius obeyed annoyed at the tone his friend had taken with him but excusing it this once. 

"What did you see Severus? Harry, he just stopped screaming and has been staring like that ever since you did the spell." 

"Lucius, what that man did – I don't think the Dark Lord would be that cruel. And the boy was only six years old Lucius, SIX!" 

"Calm down." Lucius commanded as he helped Severus stand. 

"Who knew that Harry Potter could floor you, with a thought no less."

"Lucius, shut up." growled Severus as he walked over to Harry and picked up the near weightless boy. Caring him into the adjoining bedroom, Severus laid the stiff boy on the bed gently. 

"A cleaning charm." said Lucius suddenly.

"What?" 

"Obviously he isn't going to be taking a bath anytime today. A cleaning charm should at least help a little." stated the pale blond logically. 

Severus nodded and performed a simple cleaning charm on Harry. The smell that reeked off the boy had calmed considerably to just a mild annoyance and a lot of the caked blood and grime had vanished. 

"It is no bath, but it will have to do for now." 

"Thank Merlin for that charm. Maybe I could impose for you to use it as well." Lucius snorted lightly.

"Ah yes, do continue with the derogatory remarks, it is after all quite amusing to see you make a jackass of yourself, while Harry slowly goes catatonic." 

Lucius shut his mouth with a regulatory snap and looked over at the raven haired boy currently lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Lucius approached the boy as Severus hurried out of the room to retrieve some dreamless sleep potion. The silver blond man couldn't understand how anyone could do such a thing to a child. Sure, he had done his regular slaughter of a hundred people, tortured and maimed many more – but never children. He may have served the Dark Lord with all due pleasure but he knew that not even the almighty Lord Voldermort **(An: almighty lmao right….. when pigs fly!) would be capable of such brutality, such conditioning. Never mind, that the bloody muggle scum did a better job at it than even he could think of, but to a child, Lucius just couldn't understand it. 'I think my skills are going to be put to use again and do so hope Severus will join me. He knows so many ways of keeping them conscious' thought Lucius as he waiting for Severus to come back. **

Lucius was not by any means a good man, but he was not an evil man either. He had never laid a finger on his son and was proud of the boy, even if he did tend to be a bit hyperactive. Never when serving Voldermort did he torture or kill children. He couldn't not when he had one of his own. However, he did what he did because he believed and still does on the ideals that Voldermort presented. 'Of course now that I think of it, the whole killing muggles thing could have been handled differently – ahhhh well, can't dwell on the past' startled out of his musings by Severus, the silver blond moved towards the bed placing a hand on Harry's shoulder, who promptly shifted his gaze, locking eternally pained emerald eyes with silver. 

"Yes. Sir." said Harry already having returned to his apathetic state. 

Lucius paid no mine to the boy's words as Severus stepped to Harry and sat on the edge of the bed. Looking ever so coldly at the boy as he handed the boy a potion vial "Harry." said boy tore his gaze from Lucius to look at the onyx eyed man before him "It is okay. There will be no punishment. I would like you to drink this, it will help you sleep." Lucius couldn't believe the gentleness in his friend's voice. But then again Severus had always been kind with Draco; it was his features that hid the kinder side of himself. 'Perhaps that mask isn't so indestructible as I thought' thought Lucius as he saw Harry utter yet again those two tiny words, that revealed nothing of how he felt, and drink the vial before immediately lapsing into a for once peaceful sleep. 

Severus sighed deeply as he stood, both men leaving the room quietly and trekking back into the study. Severus had still not fully recovered from what he had seen; he couldn't believe that the boy had endured such abuse, to do that to a child was unspeakable. 'Bloody muggles will be getting a visit from me soon….perhaps Lucius would like to join me' mused Severus darkly.

"Well Severus, what did you see?" asked Lucius impatiently. 

Severus sighed and began retelling the silver blond everything he had seen. If the situation weren't so serious he would have been amused at the different shades of white that he had turned upon finishing his narration. 

"I see; this won't be easy you know. How about we just kill him and put him out of his misery?" suggested Lucius. 

"You have the worst sense of humor I have ever known." 

"And you have no sense of humor."

"I find sarcasm to be quite amusing."

"Yeah if want to break someone with words to the point of suicide, then oh yeah by all means you're great at that."

"At least I don't have to break their legs to keep my prisoners from kicking me where it hurts."

"Hey, we agreed not to speak of that incident. It happened once!"

"De Nile is not a river in Egypt Lucius." 

"………."

"Draco." 

"What?" asked Lucius completely puzzled by the change of topic to his son?

"I was thinking that maybe Draco could help with Harry's recuperation."

"And how pray tell?"

"Obviously the boy hasn't had a human contact except for those in that house. Perhaps the presence of a boy his age may help him to open up."

"In other words use Draco to teach the boy how to feel again."

"Exactly."

"I don't know I'll speak to him, we'll see Severus. But first we have to get the boy to bathe."

"Yes, I think I have a way. Well, Lucius it's late. I shall see you tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah sure - why not? After all I'm all for helping the needy and all, its not like I have a life or anything." 

"Do you never get sick of your tongue?"

"Ah very well. I'll spare you my ill witted sarcasm. Do you wish me to bring Draco tomorrow?"

"If you could - yes. Thank you."

"Very well. Tomorrow I'll bring Draco at around noon. Agreed?"

"Agreed." 

With that Lucius disappeared back to his manor leaving a very troubled Severus to ponder what his next move will be. 

 *~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*

MD: ok I'm going to do what I never thought I would. I'm going to respond to my reviews. Lmao.

**Ladyfoxfire****: wow I'm honored. Seriously. I've read A Broken Child. I have to say one of my faves even if you haven't updated for awhile but it's ok you make up for it with your author's notes lol. Um but when did you loose me? Anyway, ah I hope I satisfied your curiosity but I must say you really know how to make a girl work for her chapter. I had to spend awhile thinking about this to not make it so predictable. Thanks so much for your review, getting reviewed by you was I mean wow I was like. DAMN I READ HER STORIES AND HERE SHE IS READING MINE WOW! **

**Cowboyinuyasha****: You're my first reviewer I love you! *cheers* I'm also high on crack but that's another story. I'm grateful for your support it really helps my almost non existent moral. LoL. Oh and I'm sorry about the spelling errors. My chapters are being beta read by Black Dragon Lady (you might want to check her stuff it's good really) and I'll be replacing the ones posted soon. I tend to get inpatient and post before they are beta read heheheheh. **

**LenaLovely12: **thank god I've converted youto angst. You don't know what you were missing lol. Nay j/k. Actually thanks for your review. I'm glad that you loved Lucius he's my pride and joy in this as well as my cynical sense of humor which needs to be released some how. I hope you keep reading. 

**Ningchan****: so short yet you said millions. Thank you. It's good that it is disturbing or else I'd be suspecting myself of being normal lol. Thank you for your review. **

**Purplefirephoenix****: thank you!**

**Sailorlex****: I advise not to take any more sugar pills. Nah I'm j/k. But thanks for the enthusiasm it's really encouraging. **

**Keitorin****: That's what I'm saying. You'd think the kid would just keel over and die already huh? Oh and how did you come up with your pen name it's cool me likes.**

**Water: **ah yes where is Draco? I promise he will show up in next chapter. For sure. I just need to come up with the next chapter. *sheepish grin* 

**Miss Lesley: **You know how curiosity killed the cat well I've now left myself in a trauma for writing this. But then again I am evil aren't I? Yup it's good to be bad. Thank you for your review. 

**Snowgrl****: Listen whore don't you go patronizing me! Grrrrrrrr. At least I update unlike your crap which is still collecting dust on a disk somewhere. So my other fic is not progressing as well give me a break it's on hiatus for a reason so there! (so that you know this is my best friend and she's being a pain)**

**Callas-and-Ivy: **thank you. Trust me this fic is gonna go far. I don't know where but it's going somewhere. 

MD: again thanks to all you guys this will probably be the only time that I respond to all my reviewers most likely I'll just respond to the most frequent ones because it takes too much time to do this unless you email me. Which is on my profile so *sticks out tongue* no excuses. Anyway I just got a job now so I'll probably take awhile to update but I'll try to have it up by next week okay. Cool. 

Draco: finally maybe I'll actually show up now. 

Harry: can I go home now.

Severus: what does derogatory mean?

Lucius: hey Sev did you ever find out how to kill yourself with the killing curse?

Severus: yes why?

MD: he was wondering if you'd use it now.

BDL: your muses suck.

MD: I know, can I have yours?

BDL: no.

MD: Bitch.


	6. Meetings

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 6: Meetings

An: Konnichiwa ppl how is every one well I have news and more news. For one my updates are going to be a bit more spread out than normal. I got a job and well life sucks heheheh. Anyway ok I'm half asleep so I think I'm rambling. Am I rambling? Ooo you know writing this and listening to .Hack Sign opening theme : obsession really gives you a go. 

Draco: yeah I think so but then I talk to voices.

Harry: half asleep and you can still find away to torture me 

Lucius: didn't you know pain is the only way to be alive

Severus: okay……. Lucius I think you need to take your medication.

MD: um do you mean these. *lifts up empty bottle*

Severus :  what did you do!

*horrified* 

MD: oh shit!!

Warning: Um yeah what warning he meets Draco ok maybe some self mutilation I don't know the damn chapter writes itself. 

Disclaimer: I no own. But if you if you want to sell I'll buy Draco, Harry, Severus, Lucius. Thank you! Come again!. 

**Oh yeah!**

***    * is draco's little voice and **

**-     - is Draco's thoughts k. good enjoy!.**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Don't Turn Away_

_Don't Give In To The Pain_

_Don't Try To Hide_

_Though They're Screaming Your Name_

_Don't Close Your Eyes_

_God Knows What Lies Behind Them_

_Don't Turn Out The Light_

_Never Sleep Never Die_

_                        Evanescence: Whisper_

_*~*~**~*~*~~*~*~**_

Lucius Malfoy sat idly twirling a glass of wine in his hand as he pondered about the events of the previous day. **( Yes cliché. I know. Indulge me please.) 'What the hell have gotten myself into? I mean sure I can understand that Severus would obviously come to me for help in such a delicate matter but Harry Potter? What the hell is going on in Severus' head? Well then again I guess he figured since I haven't turned him in as spy that I wouldn't automatically kill the kid. Then again if it benefits me I probably would. After all the only reason Severus is still up and kicking is because he's a friend and the tiny fact that it just isn't beneficial to have him dead or exposed. And……..why am I answering my own questions. Okay…… I'm just going to go wake up Draco and we'll be off to whatever the hell it is that I have agreed to.' Lucius sighed loudly as he stood and stretched his leg muscles which were a bit sore. **

"Sometimes a deal with the devil can be really bloody annoying." 

Lucius trekked towards his young heir's room to get him ready for an early arrival at Snape Manor. Lucius absently wondered if Severus had been capable of coaxing the boy into taking a bath. 

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus awoke early, not a normal custom during the summer break from school, a bit grouchy from the early morning rays stinging his eyes. He treaded to the kitchens where he indulged himself drinking some tea and having a light breakfast. He knew full well that the black haired, emerald eyed boy that currently lay in one of his many guest bedrooms, lay sleeping. At least that was what the raven haired man believed. 

The slim pale figure trudged up the stairs finally out of his grumpy state, although few could actually tell the difference. As he entered the emerald eyed boy's room he noticed the boy was indeed awake and sitting stiffly on the bed. The bed apparently had been done up perfectly, it looked as if no one had even slept there the night before. Severus noticed that Harry had continued staring at the floor as he entered fully into the room. Not wanting to put the boy on guard he decided to get his attention and reassure the boy. 'Boy must think he did something wrong by sleeping on the bed' thought Severus absentmindedly.

"Harry." 

"Yes Sir." 

"The bed is yours, you will not be punished for sleeping on it."

"It isn't right sir. The floor is better for me." responded Harry as if an eight year old boy sleeping on the floor was the most normal thing in existence. 

"Harry, you are a child and children sleep in beds understood?" said Severus his voice silky and demanding. He noticed Harry's eyes close briefly as if contemplating what to do before he heard that ever so disturbing answer leave the boys lips. 

"Yes sir."

"Now, come with me." Severus waited for the boy to stand and then led him to the same bathroom that they had entered yesterday. Immediately the boy stiffened and stood in the middle of the bathroom reminiscent of the previous days actions before his lapse. Severus had decided that perhaps, he could coax the boy to at least take a shower whilst the water was placed under a silencing spell. Severus unnoticed by Harry placed the spell on the shower quietly before addressing the emerald eyed boy again. 

"Harry."

"Yes sir?"

"Perhaps it would be advantageous for you to shower instead of a bath."

"I don't understand sir." Harry's gaze had locked on Severus' onyx eyes, cold and apathetic resembling the boy of a fallen angel who had lost his soul forever. 

Severus turned on the water of the shower making sure to divert the boy's attention from the mini pool sized tub next to it. "I would prefer if you were cleaned up Harry. Come it is okay. I won't hurt you there are no punishments here Harry, try it." Harry looked at the shower, the water slightly steaming from the warmth the boy subconsciously craved; there was no sound coming from the shower the only thing telling the emerald eyed boy that the water was indeed flowing was missing and with it the memories that he had relived the day before. 

Severus had been correct in assuming that it was the sound of the running water that had triggered the memory to resurface. Having been held under water repeatedly while the water still flowed must have left an imprint of the sound echoing in his mind. Kind of how certain smells can activate a long forgotten memory the sound of the water flowing rapidly must have done the same to the boy.  

Severus heard the indifferent response from the boy and fought back the smile that had tried to creep onto his face as Harry began to undress. Severus ignored the scars that marred the boy's body like an open book narrating a story of pain and agony. He held back a gasp as the boy revealed more scars lining his legs and thighs. Severus' determination to make the bloody muggles pay increased ten fold but for now he had others matters to attend to. The raven haired man indicated the soap and shampoo to the boy who obviously looked a bit perplexed by the items as he kept shifting his eyes towards each trying to determine which was for what. Severus, biting back a snap explained what each use was and then closed the door of the shower leaving the boy to his privacy. As he turned to leave, he uttered one more thing to the emerald eyed boy. 

"Take as long as you want. It is okay to enjoy." 

"Yes sir. I'll be quick sir." replied the small boy as if he had not heard Severus' last remark. Severus sighed as he quietly closed the door. Severus had removed the raggedy cloths that the boy had been wearing and had burned them leaving a fresh new set on the boy's bed. Although they had been transfigured from his muggle cloths, they consisted of a pair of black soft cotton pants and a black polyester shirt so as not to aggravate the boy's still healing wounds. 

Almost an hour later and having to convince the boy to wear the cloths Severus' had laid out for him rather than stand there naked the whole day. They had finally proceeded to the kitchen. Harry looked much better after the shower; his hair was much cleaner although still disheveled, his skin was clean of caked and blood and grime, although Severus could now see old faded scars that had been hidden under the dirt. The boy's eyes shone an even brighter green now even though they remained dead and expressionless. The shower had done the boy a whole of good. Harry had actually stared at his skin for a good ten minutes confused. Severus' had smirked at the look on the boy's face and indicated for him to sit while he brought breakfast for the boy. 

Severus scowled as he turned with the boy's food only to see the boy sitting on the floor like a dog awaiting scraps from his master. Severus fought to keep his temper in check knowing that it wasn't the boy's fault and that he shouldn't take out his frustration out on him because it would only harm the already traumatized child. However, he was unable to keep down the cold sarcasm in his voice back as he addressed the confused boy. 

"Are you so adamant to be a dog?" 

"I'm sorry sir?"

Severus sighed "Sit in the chair." 

"But sir…."

"Now!" seethed Severus as he tried valiantly to gain control of his temper. 

Harry didn't even bother responding as he stood up quickly and seated himself in the nearest chair. Severus laid out a bowl of oatmeal laced with a nutrient potion in order to get the boy to gain some much needed weight. He had decided to start the emerald eyed boy with small nutrient laced meals before moving him up to more solid foods. 

"Everything. Understood?" said Severus leaving no room for argument.

"Yes sir." said the raven haired boy as he obediently ate. However, apparently the boy had no idea what a spoon was because he had endeavored to use his hands and drink directly from the bowl. 'Well I think I've found my starting point. Utensil usage, great me teach an eight year old I don't know the first thing…….WAIT! I am a teacher for bloody sakes. Oh that's right I hate my job' thought Severus resentfully as he watched the young boy continue to eat. Noting that it was almost time for Lucius to appear with his young charge, Severus stood, motioning for Harry to remain and continue his meal, and trekked gracefully to the study that was down the hall. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~

 Lucius landed gracefully as he dropped out of Severus' fireplace, unfortunately the silver blonde did not move quick enough out of the way and was hit in the  back of the knees by his incoming son's feet. The pressure caused his knees to buckle and Lucius tumbled to the ground face first. 

"Ah! Bloody Fucking Hell!" exclaimed Lucius as he rubbed his shoulder which had hit the floor first in order to cushion the fall. 

"Sorry Father." said Draco, a pale blond with eyes that were the color of Dragon's ice fire. The boy was of average height for his age, his skin was a pearly white which made the ice blue of his eyes shine brightly. 

"Well Lucius, it seems you've taken a liking to my floor would you like me to give the owl of my interior decorator to?" Severus smirked at the death glare his friend was giving him at the moment. 

"One day Severus………right to the moon."

"If I'm not mistaken, that is a muggle expression."

"…….." 

Severus snorted and turned his attention to the young boy who had been watching his and Lucius' banters with amusement. 

"Hello Draco."

"Hello Uncle Severus." greeted the boy brightly. 

Draco had always been a very active child. Always running around doing anything to keep him entertained and for a Malfoy, the boy was much more innocent than what one would think. Lucius had apparently saw fit that the boy not know any of the horrors that his father had committed, and allowed the boy to grow into his own person. As a child Lucius had been conditioned to be the perfect heir to his father, having to mask himself from the true person he was. It was apparent that Lucius had endeavored not to do the same to his son and for that Severus respected the man greatly, having grown up in a very similar environment as Lucius; Severus understood the need for individuality and self expression. Something he would need to instigate in the emerald eyed boy that currently sat in his kitchen. 

"Draco there is someone I would like you to meet. He's around your age but very quiet."

"Where?!" asked the boy excitedly, content to meet a new playmate as Lucius had put it when having their talk. 

"He's in the kitchen but………." Severus was not even allowed to finish his sentence as Draco had immediately dashed out of the study, towards the kitchen. 

"Are you sure he's your son and not the product of an affair between Narcissa and a Veela?" asked Severus unconcerned.

"Actually I'm a quarter Veela." said Lucius proudly.

"Really? Are you the runt of the litter?" 

"Now that was wrong."

"Pretense Lucius, all in pretense."

Lucius and Severus left the study in favor of watching the interaction between Harry and Draco. However when they arrived they were awed at the sight of the young pale blond speaking to Harry as if he were a lost soul in the depths of darkness. Neither boy noticed the two adults standing at the entrance of the kitchen completely bewildered by the interaction between the boys. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco skidded to a halt as he reached the entrance of the kitchen, taking in a large breath of air the pale blond slammed the door open and trekked inside happily. However, Harry, hearing the bang from the door immediately thought that he had done something very wrong and had angered the raven haired man, and dropped the glass of pumpkin juice that he had been drinking on the floor. The glass shattered as soon as it touched the hard stone floor. Harry stared at the door his gaze locked with one of ice blue. 

Draco saw as the emerald eyed boy dropped his glass, startled by the sound and looked at him. 

-Wow pretty eyes.- 

*Twit you scared him!*

-Did not!-

*Did to and he's looking at you.*

-He looks so……-

*sad.*

-Yeah that. Hey I can think by myself!-

*No you can't, you can't even tie your shoes yet.*

-I'm telling father!-

*Oh yeah. Father! The little voice in my head is making fun of me!*

-…………- 

*He's moving.*

Draco watched as Harry tore his gaze away and jumped out of the chair only to kneel next to where the shard of glass were, laying forgotten on the floor. He watched in shock as Harry began to frantically pick up the shards both large and small with his hands not flinching as the shards made tiny cuts on his hands and some actually imbedded themselves in the skin. Draco didn't notice his father and uncle behind him watching in the doorway as he approached the odd boy. 

"Hey." was all Draco said as he kneeled next to the emerald eyed boy. Draco noticed the faint scars on the boy's cheeks but kept his attention away from them. Not knowing really what to do except that he didn't like how the boy was hurting himself over nothing. He had never had to pick up sharp things that he had accidentally broken. His father always used a spell to fix it and would reprimand him about being careful so; it was confusing to see the raven haired boy in front of him ignore him as if he didn't have a right to even speak to him and then start picking at the glass like a servant. 

For a moment Draco had thought the boy to be indeed that, a servant, but knowing his uncle didn't like having human servants dismissed that possibility. Thus, the young pale skinned boy tried again. Setting a hand on one of the raven haired boy's wrists to stop its movement, the blond spoke again this time more enthusiastic than his last comment, "hi my name's Draco."

Harry stopped his movements suddenly when he felt a hand on his wrist he was about to withdraw and wait for his punishment when he noticed that the hand was significantly smaller than the tall pale man who had brought him here. Then he heard the hand's owner's voice and looked up. 

Draco stared at Harry as he spoke to the boy again. 

"Why are you doing that? You don't have to pick it up you know, Uncle Severus won't be mad. I've broken a lot of them before. Ok, he might give you a look but he gives everyone the look. What's your name?" Draco then noticed that Harry's hands were bleeding and went to call Severus and his Father however, as he turned to go find them Severus immediately moved towards the two. 

"Uncle Severus, he's hurt can you fix him?"

Severus looked at Harry who was about to continue picking up the glass shards upon seeing him enter. Severus however, would have none of it and knelt next to Harry. 

"Harry."

"Yes sir. I'll pick it up sir. I'm sorry sir."

"Harry?"

"Yes sir. I'll be punished sir."

"Harry!"

Harry stopped muttering and looked at the onyx eyed man before him.

"Yes sir?"

"It's okay. There is nothing to be punished for here. The glass can be repaired and I believe Draco wishes to meet you. Now, give me your hands."

"But, sir, yes sir." Harry lifted his hands showing Severus the small cuts and some shards of glass that had gotten imbedded in the skin from grasping too hard. Severus muttered a simple healing spell and slowly the blood dissipated and the wounds healed leaving only a slight throbbing pain. 

Draco having grown impatient with his uncle went up to Severus and tugged on his robe. 

"Uncle Severus!"

Severus sighed softly "Harry, this is Draco my godson, it is okay to speak to him, I'm sure he's anxious to know you."

Before Harry could respond Draco grabbed him by the wrist "are you done?" 

"Yes, Sir" said Harry assuming that Draco although as old as him had authority over him and thus he should only address him as one. 

"Sir? No I'm Draco, come on I wanna show you Uncle Severus' garden."

Harry merely stared at Draco and followed obediently as Draco led the way to Severus' garden. Severus and Lucius stared at the two boy's retreating backs. Then Lucius turned to Severus, one of his trademark Malfoy smirks on his face. 

"So, should I by a collar to go with the leash that the boy has?"

Severus sighed "Lucius if you don't stop with the derogatory remarks I'm going to collar and chain you in one of my dungeons."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Perhaps I'll allow you the company of a few frogs." Severus smirked as Lucius paled. 

"Bastard."

"Do you enjoy pointing out the obvious?"

"I will not respond to that. Anyway, what do you think?" Lucius asked indicated the scene between the two boys. 

"I don't know let's go see and we'll find out……." Severus was cut off by the arrival of a hazel nut colored owl rapping at his window. Stepping to the window and allowing the owl entrance, Severus removed the letter and read it. Lucius watched as Severus' features from a customary scowl to a deeper one only to go back to his regular scowl. 'Merlin, the man is confusing!' thought Lucius as Severus closed the letter and turned his attention to the silver blond. 

"Can you stay here with them?"

"Going to go talk to the old man, what are you going to tell him?"

"Lie."

"Ah, yes, and how pray tell are you going to convince the old man that Harry Potter is not currently in your custody?"

"I never said I was going to deny that fact."

Lucius was about to protest only to stop and smirk as he caught the meaning in his friends words.

"Ah well, do give my greetings to the kook." 

"Yes, would that be the death threat or the when are you going to retire question?"

"Both." 

Severus smirked as he took a pinch of floo powder yelled out his destination in Hogsmeade and disappeared in a blast of green emerald flames.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

MD: this chapter is like blah to me I don't know I needed them to meet so whatever I flows it wrote itself it's all good. It up to my faithful readers to decide. Blah blah blah. Ok truth is I had a bad day at work and I'm depressed, pissed, apathetic at the same time. Weird huh!

**Arizosa****: If you think that's bad wait till Harry grows up muahahahahah which I'm hoping to reach soon. Thanks for the Review I hope you keep reading. Oh and Draco is mine on Wednesdays it's part of his contract to please me muahahaahahaah. **

**Layce74: **I will don't worry I have something very special planned for them but unfortunately won't happen till later. But I will put a small Lucius and Severus pay them a visit *cackles evilly* 

**Shawn Pickett: **LoL Thank you! Hey I never thought I could actually right a likable Lucius I mean even I love him and I made him up! Keep reading review some more. Yeah about Dumbledore, that is next chapter but I have to give it some thought. 

**Keitorin****: Oh cool so it's your Japanese name see mine doesn't change much really oh well. Anyway I know the meeting with Draco was well blah but I'm leaving that up to develop next chapter and hope you liked the shower part it was really more to the psychological aspect of the conflict so yeah I'm going to shut up now. **

**Callas-and-Ivy: **I know I made Draco a bit naïve and innocent but I figured my Lucius being the way he is wouldn't want his son to know of the aspects of good and evil because frankly I don't think even Lucius sees it that way heheheh. I love my interaction between Lucius and Severus and I'm glad you enjoy them to thank you. Now please hit me upside the head so I can stop rambling. 

**Charlie-potter1: I don't suppose you'll believe that my muses are on loan from the P.P.B.A. (Pink Plot Bunny Association) lol. Thank you for reading my stuff I'm glad you like. **

**Creamy Miffy: hahahahahahhahah how I love angst I'm evil I know. Thank you for reading I hope you continue to like it. **

**Amirathis****: Actually it isn't that Dudley was a menace. Harry was raised to believe he was lower than human so he thinks that Draco is in a sense another human who can just as easily have Severus hurt him like Dudley had Vernon (f**ker that he is). Hey I love Sadism it's great. Lucius yeah I know isn't he the best? Lol**

**ShadowQuirk****: yeah he will trust in the most diabolical way possible muahahahhahaha**

**Usagibuffy****: Thank you! For reading. Yeah I'm so glad that every one likes Lucius he's sort of my pride and joy in this story. A likable Lucius who knew I could pull that off. Lol I'd recommend Lady Foxfire but then you already know her don't you? Lol. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the rest. **

**Lady Foxfire: I'm sorry but this will be an HP/DM fic I had contemplated on HP/ SS but it didn't work out with the future basis of this story so it's a no go. But I am working on an HP/SS fic for when this one is finished. I hope you won't stop reading this one though cause trust me the angst has just begun hahhaahah I'm planning Lucius, Severu, Harry, Draco, Ron, etc. muahahahh all of them will suffer at my hand. *cackles madly* Anyway, OH! Hey did you get your heater working. Reference A broken Child author's note. Lol. I'm still waiting. But hey life sucks it gives no time it's ok I'll just continue to wait here in the corner as I devise more plotlines lol. **


	7. Salvage

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 7: Salvage

An: okay I'm here I'm back and I'm seriously in need of sugar (no not that kind of sugar you perves) lol. Ignore me. 

Severus: we are.

Draco: yup.

Harry: I'm mad at you leave me alone.

Lucius: wimp *laughs*

Harry: stop picking on me!

Draco: is it too late to ask to be the bad guy in this fic?

MD: will you shut up! And let me finish my author's notes!!!!

AN continued: anyway well I'm happy this fic is rolling along and for anyone thinking that Lucius and Severus will or might be getting together in a relationship you can crap that idea right now. Although I had thought of it since Snowgrl had asked me about it. But no I like the friendship/alliance they have lol. Anyway enjoy this chapter. 

Warnings: More Harry angst. Slightly Different Dumbledore (bastard that he is. Can you tell I don't like him? Lol) Oh yah and maybe a little flashback not sure don't know if I have it in me to write what I'm thinking.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Dumbass that sues me will be jumped by my posse. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_I'm frightened by what I see_

_But somehow I know that there's much more to come_

_Immobilized by my fear_

_And soon to be blinded by tears_

_I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

_                        Evanescence: Whisper_

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry followed a bouncy pale blond boy out of the manor and into a beautiful garden. Harry had never seen such a garden although he kept his curiosity in check, not wanting to anger the boy in front of him, Harry couldn't help but take in the foliage that surrounded him. 

It was almost like a small maze as bushes rose above their heads like walls. Flowers of deepest red to sapphire blue poked themselves out of the bushes. Vines and shrubs entangled across short and tall Rose bushes almost as if the roses were shying away their beauty. Harry noticed the young blond boy stop in front of a bush; Harry remained behind Draco impassively watching the boy. Suddenly the young enthusiastic blond turned his head and gave the raven haired boy an innocent smile that lit his silver eyes brilliantly. 

"Look at this Harry, come on!" 

Harry moved cautiously towards the boy weary of angering the boy thus incurring the wrath of the dark haired, pale skinned man who had yet to punish him. When the boy motioned for him to look at the bush Harry stared dumbfounded as he watched the most bizarre yet beautiful roses in bloom within the bush. The roses were an almost transparent color that changed colors as if they were covered by a silvery hue that reflected colors off the early afternoon light. Harry was awoken from his stupor by Draco's cheerful voice. 

"There called Fallen Angel" Draco said cheerfully before he continued "father once told me about them. Uncle Severus grows them a lot because of his potions. Um, I can't really remember what they do but I know it has something to do with your feeling or something." Draco pouted slightly as Harry remained impassive about the roses and his comments, suddenly a voice from behind caught both boys attention. 

"You were very young when I told you about this particular rose Draco." Lucius said as he stepped up behind the boy to look at the roses that continued to swirl in a silvery bright hue. He noticed Harry's distant stance from Draco, 'like a servant who walks a few paces behind his master' mused Lucius silently before continuing to explain the properties of the roses.

"These roses are very rare but quite beautiful. When you touch their petals, the silvery colors that swirl about it will solidify and make the flower one solid color, sometimes it is a mix of two or three colors as it represents the aura and emotions of the one who touches it. Draco, why don't you demonstrate to Harry by touching it." said Lucius as he smiled lightly at his son.

Draco smiled brightly as he reached over to the flower and caressed its petals softly letting his fingers rest there for a few moments until the silver swirls of color began to move faster. The rose had become and light blue mixed with a gentle light yellow. 

"Look father they're still the same color as last time I touched it!" cried Draco enthusiastically. Lucius smiled softly at his son, glad to see the colors that represented his son's innocent and cheerful demeanor had not changed. He had always wanted to raise his son away from the cruelty and death that he had endured and not to mention inflicted. His son would not become him. The pale blond remembered the last time he had touched the delicate rose, having been just after Draco had been born. He remembered the colors the rose had shown him; a dark ebony blue, crimson red, and a light aqua. He had no idea that this simple rose's ability to show you your true self could have brought him so much comfort on that day. When he saw that light aqua color flowing freely with the others he knew that he would be at least a capable father. Often he had worried that he would be exactly like his father as the rose had always showed him the dark ebony blue that represented his cruelty and ability to hate and hurt and the crimson red that was his cunning and ambition for power. The light aqua color had destroyed those beliefs because in its own way it had assured him that he was still human, that despite his willful acts of torture and death, he could indeed raise his son to be different than him. Of course that Malfoy arrogance was still there 'what kind of son would he be if didn't have that trait. I mean come on if he's going to be naïve and happy he has to have something of mine. Arrogance is good' thought Lucius mildly before he was interrupted by his son. 

"Father! Pay attention, I'm your son so you can't ignore me!" whined Draco.

'Ah see, there it is, Malfoy arrogance you have to love it' mused Lucius before he responded to his son's call. "Yes?"

"Can Harry touch the flower please!?" asked Draco enthusiastically. 

Lucius looked at Harry whom had not moved one inch since Lucius had appeared behind them. 

"Harry?"

"Yes, sir." came the indifferent reply. 

"You can touch the rose if you'd like." Lucius wanted to reassure the boy that he wouldn't get punished but didn't want to deal with his son's curious questions about the statement either. 'Ah, damn you know screw tact. I'll just order him to do it. It won't hurt to do it just once will it I mean it's not like he cares…...wow talk about insensitive.' while Lucius had been silently musing to himself about what to do. Draco had taken matters into his own hands and had grabbed Harry's wrist and moved the startled yet impassive boy towards the bush. Placing the submissive hand on the flower's petals he waited and then removed the hand as the colors began to swirl. 

"Father, why is Harry's color black?" asked Draco, confused. 

Lucius couldn't believe it this boy actually had no defining aura or emotion in his being. Black was a neutral color that represented a void, a lack of emotion towards anything and anyone. Either this boy was really good at suppressing emotions or all feeling had conditioned out of the boy and if it was the latter then it would be very hard to help him recover those emotions. 

"Draco, why don't you show Harry the rest of the garden." it wasn't a suggestion but a silent command that his son knew meant to follow without question. 

"Come on Harry, let's see the rest of the garden!" shouted Draco as he bounded down another trail of foliage. 

"Yes Draco, sir" said Harry apathetically not even giving a mind to the roses at all. 

Lucius decided to follow silently just in case. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus leaned against the cold stone wall, arms crossed over his chest as he stared silently out the window of the Headmaster's office. The old conniving man had offered a seat but the tall pale man had declined, preferring to stand. 

Albus Dumbledore stared intently at the raven haired man before him his eyes twinkling madly as he regarded his potion's master. Severus and him had had a very trusting relationship since Severus had come to him all those years ago asking to spy for the light. All though the old man knew that trusting was far from what this partnership was. 

"Well Severus, my dear boy, what news have you?" asked Dumbledore in a sickeningly sweet voice. 

"The boy is still at his muggle relative's house." Severus spoke very carefully keeping his tone cold and impassive only giving information that would not help the old man. 

"And of his magic?"

"I performed an analysis as he slept. His magic is fine; apparently your 'golden boy' has other talents." 

"You mean to tell me Severus that Harry Potter has been able to somehow suppress his magical outburst for over a year now?" Dumbledore narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

Severus sneered "No. I am saying headmaster. That the boy is fine and has had no need for such displays, evidently the boy is pampered and………." Severus could barely contain his yelp of pain as Dumbledore had thrown a mild but quite painful curse at him. 

"Listen to me Severus. As much as I do trust you, you must understand that I do not like lies from you." Severus continued to stare at Dumbledore his eyes as cold and hard as ice. "You cannot expect me to believe that the most important asset to the light has not shown any traces of magic in over a year – because he is happy." said Dumbledore calmly as he walked over to the tall man who was leaning heavily against the wall, the curse having practically slammed him against the hard stone. Dumbledore placed his wand under Severus chin, lifting it so that the raven haired man was looking directly into the old man's eyes. 

"Now Severus, I trust that you will not lie to me again, after all I am the one who gave you a second chance instead of letting you wither away in Azkaban. I should hope that I will not have to place you there as a traitor to the light – will I?" It was all Severus could to keep from ripping his face out of the man's hands and cursing him with every dark curse known to man. Eight years he had lived under this man and he often wondered if the Dark Lord and he were any different. Dumbledore had never actually tortured him physically, except for a minor curse here and there, meant to keep him in line, but the old twinkle eyed bastard loved to play his mind games with him. Always reminding him on just what a short leash he had the potion's master and how easily he could discard him to the aurors should the raven haired man prove to be useless to his cause. Yes, it was indeed his cause, Severus had long ago figured that Albus Dumbledore had his own dark agenda for having the light win this war and he would go to any lengths to do it. Everyday Severus cursed himself for turning over his soul to yet another devil that denied him his freedom. 

"No. It. Will. Not happen again. Headmaster." said Severus coldly trying not to wince from the small ache that radiated through his back. Dumbledore smiled softly and removed his wand from the potion's master's chin. The old man slowly and gently began guiding the pale man to a soft chair and then sat himself at his desk. 

"Now, my dear boy, why don't you really tell me what is wrong with the boy." it was a gentle tone but laced with an underlined warning that Severus knew all too well. 

Severus sighed but kept his voice as stoic as before "The boy seems to be very indifferent which would explain why his magic has not reacted for so long. However, I do not know exactly why it has lasted for so long."

"Do you have any theories?"

"I believe perhaps he has been impassive because of an inherent loneliness. The boy is very withdrawn but I believe as he grows older his magic may very well surface again. He is still a child and will clearly become angry or frustrated at some point."

Dumbledore looked at him for a moment and smiled sweetly "very well Severus. I shall continue to monitor the boy. You are dismissed." Severus stood, nodded and turned to leave he was however detained by the headmaster's voice again.  

"Oh, and Severus…"

"Yes."

"I do hope you have not lied to me again. For, if you have it will be most unpleasant for you. Do you understand – my dear boy." said Dumbledore sweetly emphasizing the last part as a reminder of just who was in charge. 

"Understood." with that Severus exited the office, striding down the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was seething in suppressed rage. 'Damn! I might as well declare myself dead if he finds out I have Potter. I finally rid myself of one devil only to end up the pawn of another. Merlin, the killing curse is looking pretty good right about now. I'll have to duplicate the boy's magical signature……..I need to speak with Lucius' thought Severus as he exited the castle and passed the apparition wards in order to apparate to Snape Manor. 

*~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*

MD: Yay! I have finished this chapter. 

Severus: A bit short don't you think?

MD: shut up. 

Draco: are you sure I'm not on crack of something?

Harry: I think I've had too much …….

MD: shut. Up. Grrrrrrr. Or do you want to die!

Severus: You know what I am not appreciating having to deal with two bastards. 

Harry: well see you are on a leash. I mean come on first Voldie then Dumbledore. 

Draco: you'd think he'd learn *laughs out loud while Severus glares daggers*

Severus: …………… I hope you die.

*harry and Draco start laughing* 

MD: hey you aren't suppose to laugh *inject sedative into Harry*

Harry: -_-  damn. 

An: anyway not that I've shut them up. I'd like to say something. 

One:  I'm sorry that this chapter is decidedly shorter than usual but it was actually very hard to write and I'm not exactly happy with it. Basically it was mostly to get the Severus and the old codger scene out of the way. Yes I know Dumbledore is a fucker but there is reason to my madness muahahahah. 

Two: Next chapter I will try to have out sooner but I've been working a lot and haven't really had time to write. Now, next chapter it'll be good. I'm continuing the garden scene with Draco and Harry and trust me there will be more Harry angst in that scene and maybe some Draco cuteness. More Lucius and Severus interaction ….always love those and the beginning of Harry's recovery. 

Three: I need suggestions for chapter nine though. See I don't want to go through every year. What I want to do is do small caps on years one through four you know the sorting, first meetings, Sirius, return of voldie and yadi yada . year five is where the story actually progresses more. Yeah the story will write itself from year five and on muahahahhahah I can't wait. So I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how I should go about years one through four. please post your ideas in your reviews. 

Thank you and enjoy

Oh yeah REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE MUSES. LOL


	8. Beginnings

Lost But Not Yet Broken 

Chapter 8: Beginnings

An: Ah well my long awaited chapter 8 lol. Anyway thank you for continuing I actually have the ending of this fic all figured, I dreamt it actually. Yes I tend to dream the next parts of my fics funny how that happens huh. I think you guys will be quite happy with the ending for I am a bitch here me ……..bark! lmao. Thanks to some suggested ideas which I greatly appreciate. I have decided not to make this to the J.K. Rowling books for that would be stupid as it was pointed out to me and indeed makes a hell of a lot of sense. 

MD: Ah I'm alive again. 

Harry: you were dead?

MD: see this is why you are the idiot of the group.

Draco: *starts laughing* so Harry learned how to say anything besides "yes. Sir." *laughs again hysterically*

Severus: frankly I think it's an improvement from "I don't know sir." 

*Severus, Draco, MD bust out laughing*

Harry: Hey! I really didn't know stop picking on me.

Lucius: whiner.

Harry: hey I have a frog!

Lucius: Alright I'll be good! 

Severus: Ah how the mighty have fallen. 

Harry: so what's gonna happen to me in this chapter. 

MD: muahahahahahhah you'll just have to find out won't you. 

Draco: must I be that adorably cute?

MD: shut up or I'll chain you up with Lucius. 

Lucius: hey, I'm not……….. *Lucius is chained to wall and gagged* 

MD: muahahahahahah your mine, all mine! @_@

BDL: bitch, get off the crack man. *_*

WARNINGS: Harry angst. Draco cuteness. More Lucius/Severus interaction. Oh! Yeah did I mention more angst. 

OK now has anyone seen the pic of Draco for the third HP movie I'm telling you right now if you go to mugglenet.com you will see this pic and HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!! Got that!? Good. Now enjoy. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 __

_I stand alone in the darkness_

_I can't see beyond my existence_

_How can I be what I've never known_

_This light behind me _

_Something's going to save me _

_What I don't know, I don't even see _

_I stand alone in the darkness_

_Behind me_

_                        Mystic Dragon1: Salvation. _

_*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*_

Severus entered Snape manor in a flurry of robes and a suppressed rage that seemed inhumanly possible. He summoned a house elf, demanded to know where Lucius was, and strode off towards the gardens leaving a half terrified house elf behind. 

'If I do a trace of Harry's magical signature then maybe……..but damn, the boy hasn't used magic at all for over a year…….damn you Albus Dumbledore!' Severus continued ponder on what to do about Harry while still cursing Dumbledore's name as he entered the gardens. Severus continued walking until he saw the bush the held the silvery transparent roses that he so carefully blossomed. 

"Fallen Angel." whispered Severus as he stared intently at the roses before tearing his gaze away. "How befitting." 

Severus left the roses and turned another corner within the maze like garden, before stopping abruptly upon hearing a loud splash. 'What in the……..' his thoughts were interrupted as he was thrown backward by one of the strongest magical outburst he had ever felt. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*so what are you going to do?*

-I don't know what you talking about.-

*Right. So is that why you keep looking at him.*

-He's so serious. He won't even laugh or smile.-

*Maybe he doesn't like you?*

-Everyone likes me! I'm Draco!-

*Ok you keep telling yourself that, and I'll keep asking why you are talking to yourself.*

-I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to you!-

*……… I will not comment on that.* 

-HAH!-

*He's looking at you.*

Draco stopped his conversation with the "other" and smiled at Harry widely. They had ended up at the center of the maze like garden were looking at all the flowers that Lucius would absentmindedly point out for them. 

"Hey. Look Harry." Draco pointed to a majestic fountain that could easily be taller then the walls of the maze itself. In the center rested a proud faerie, sporting beautiful wings that appeared to be shredded at the tips. She carried a sash in her arms as if presenting it to some one worthy of such a gift. Her lips curled into a wistful smile of mischief and adoration.  The two moved to towards the statuesque leaving Lucius, who was preoccupied trying to figure out whether or not the flower in front of him was a carnation or a blossom. He had started to debate with himself in a hushed tone without realizing it. 

Harry stared at the faerie statue blankly. However, he couldn't keep his gaze from the statues eyes, unconsciously he moved closer to the edge of the fountain, paying little attention to the blond boy who was now behind him smiling mischievously. 

*Don't do it.*

-Why not it'll be funny.- 

*I'm telling you, don't do it.*

-What are you going to do, tell father?-

*Hey! I'm you remember!*

-It'll be funny, he won't mind besides he might laugh.-

*Or tell your father.*

-Isn't he our father?-

*Nope. Technically I'm a figment of your insanity. Hahahah*

-You're mean.-

*You mean, you're mean right?*

-Ow. I have a headache. Go away.-

Draco silently crept behind Harry, who was still transfixed with the sculpture to notice. Draco didn't hear his father yell out for him to stop or see Harry suddenly turn when he felt the soft gentle hands on his back. He didn't see Harry's eyes widen greatly in a silent cry when those same young soft hands pushed him forwards. Draco couldn't help but laugh when he saw Harry end up in the deep water from the base of the fountain. To him it had been a harmless joke. He had no idea of Harry's trauma, so, he certainly didn't understand at all what happened next. 

*~*~*~*~*~**~*~** 

"Okay, they look like blossoms but hen again I could be wrong. They could be carnations. Never could tell the difference." muttered Lucius to himself. 

"No, wait, this color isn't normal to a blossom so it must be a carnation. But then again Severus could have tampered with the colors. Does he even have carnations in this garden? I don't recall him being very fond of them. Wait no I do remember seeing at least one…… no that was rose. Wait…..where's Draco?" Lucius came out of his little self debate, turning around hoping to spot his son; he spotted Harry staring intently at the statuette of the faerie that decorated Severus' main fountain beautifully. 

Lucius continued to stare at the raven haired boy, it was the first time Lucius had actually seen the boy's attention be so diligently diverted from the people around him. Every time he had seen the boy, he had always been aware of those around him, of there movements, gestures, and especially when addressing him. However, there was no curiosity on the boy's features, no great desire to know more but a glazed expression in his eyes as he stared blankly at the statue. 'Interesting, I wonder what has his attention so well. I mean he hasn't even noticed Draco sneaking up behind h……. Oh Merlin No!' Lucius broke away from his thoughts as he realized what his son was about to do, but his cry fell on deaf ears. Draco was too transfixed in the prank that he didn't hear his father's voice to stop. 

Lucius could only watch in muted horror as he saw those emerald eyes widen in a barely present horror as the boy realized what Draco was going to do. Watch as the Draco pushed the raven haired boy just enough to have him tip over, watch as said boy fell forwards into a very grand fountain with a resounding splash that even had Draco a little drenched. 

Had it been anyone else that Draco had done this to, Lucius would have chuckled and even laughed at the sight but what he saw next would never leave him. 

Harry remained under for a minute or so before Lucius had actually overcome his shock enough to move towards his blond son who was laughing profoundly. He ignored his son for the moment opting to get to the emerald boy who remained submerged face down in the water. 

Suddenly before he could even place a hand on the boy's body, said boy bolted out of the water with a giant gasp of air. He stood in the fountain, his head down, eyes wider than the silver blond thought possible, staring intently at his hands as trails and trickles of waters fell off him and between his outstretched fingers. 

The boy began to hyperventilate and Lucius could hear his son's laughter ebb away and finally die, hearing the questions spill forth from the young boy, worry evident in his voice and his face. Lucius couldn't blame him and neither could Severus, the boy didn't know, they had not thought to explain to him how delicate Harry's mind was right now. And by the God's he hoped that this would be all they would see of Harry's reaction to the innocent prank. 

His pleas were in vain. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Cold.

So cold.

I'm in water again, the boy, he pushed me why? I don't understand is it to amuse himself. Yes, I hear his laughter it echoes through the water. I'm under again, no not again. I'll take any punishments but not this, not again. No more. 

Cold.

Laughter.

'A boy's laughter.'

'Master's son's laugh. Dudley.'

'I remember'

*~*~*~*~~*~*~* FlashBack*~*~**~~*~*

Seven year old Harry lay curled motionless on the floor as he felt the hard kick of a boot hit his ribcage. Then another. And another. Finally, Vernon Dursley ceased his assault grabbing the boy by the collar of his shirt. He lifted the raven haired boy like a rag doll and threw him at the wall next to the cupboard. Harry hit the wall hard and couldn't help but slide down the wall a small trail of blood flowing from his bloodied lips and nose. A stain marred the wall as his head collided with it. 

"Dad! Can I try? I wanna have some fun with him please!" whined the over sized loaf, Dudley. Many times Dudley had just watched his father punish Harry. Vernon had always told him that the raven haired boy was nothing but an animal and needed to be disciplined. Dudley being his father's son never really cared, he just seemed to enjoy the show. However, he didn't like how Harry had stopped screaming and crying suddenly. Dudley had noticed that the boy was like a statue himself, moving as he was told and doing what he was told, taking his punishments. And it annoyed the obese lard to know end. 

"Sure Dudley. Have fun while I go upstairs really quick okay." 

"Okay dad!" 

Vernon stomped loudly up the stairs as he disappeared from site. Dudley turned towards the still conscious Harry, who lay motionless against the wall breathing heavily. Walking over to the boy who only stared blankly back, the rather large boy grabbed Harry's ankle and pulled him away from the wall leaving him lying flat on his back. 

"Why don't you cry?" asked the tub arrogantly. 

Harry remained silent staring apathetically at the boy.

"I asked you question!" screamed Dudley as he jumped on Harry's stomach. Harry didn't scream though or cry merely letting out a choked gasp as he spit up blood but continued to stare at Dudley. Dudley then proceeded to follow his father and start kicking the boy. 

"I want…"

Kick to the stomach

"you to…."

Kick to the chest

"CRY!" 

Dudley then jumped on Harry's leg, effectively fracturing it. Harry screamed. 

"Dudders will you keep it quiet! Please!" cried Petunia from the kitchen, not giving a care to what was happening in the living room. 

"Yes mommy!" cried Dudley as he kicked Harry again in the stomach. 

Harry winced, gritting his teeth as he felt multiple ribs crack; soon he began to cough and spit up blood. He hadn't meant to scream but the assault had been unexpected. He began to feel cold, very cold. He opened his eyes again and looked straight into his abusers eyes. It was a blank cold stare it wasn't angry, pained, or hateful – just cold. Eerily cold. Those eyes could freeze hell and make heaven cry. There was nothing, nothing but a blank thing devoid of all humanity.

Dudley continued to stare at the broken bloodied boy; he couldn't stand looking at this thing with no emotions, with no pain. Dudley looked away as he heard his father come back down the stares. Vernon sent Dudley away clearly seeing how disturbed his son was at the site of the wretched boy. Vernon could only smile at the boy's emotionless stare. He had beaten his abnormality out of him and made into an obedient little toy. He picked up the emerald eyed boy by the collar once again and threw him into his cupboard locking it behind him. 

Harry shivered violently on the dirty cot. Locked with in darkness and pain, he could no longer discern when the pain had actually stopped or if it ever had. He felt cold, so cold everything was dark but he could see the blood that stained his hands, his legs, and his chest clearly. He watched as the thick crimson liquid flowed down his palms and in-between his fingers like iridescent water flowing freely over one's form. 

Water. 

Blood water.

Blood inside, everywhere. He wore it like an emblem of what he was. So cold. Blood was always warm at first and then it would turn colder than ice, colder than ice – water. 

*~*~*~~*End Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Harry stared at the trickles of clear pure liquid that flowed down his arms, his hands. It was cold, like ice, like blood. Water was suppose to be for the pure, he could almost see the water run away from his stained skin. Suddenly the clear liquid shifted and all Harry could see was red – blood red. 

Lucius watched as Harry clenched his hands threw his head back and as his mouth opened, his magic spurred out, expressing every ounce of power that was in the silent scream being issued from his mouth. No sound came except for a force of magic so grand, Lucius had never seen the likes of it in his life. In a split second movement he grabbed Draco tightly in his arms as the force of Harry's magic sent them both flying backward. Lucius held tightly onto Draco as they landed in a flurry of thorn bushes and vines. 

Lucius felt the thorns dig into his back but they were minor pricks, he continued to hold Draco protectively as the boy cried, staring at the raven haired boy's silent scream of magic. They watched as the water rippled violently and plants burst into flames around him only to become ashes a second later.   

Lucius tried to get up but the force of the magic against him was too strong and Draco's weight added to it wasn't helping much either. Lucius could only fathom at the pain and agony this boy must have locked within the recesses of his mind because not even Lord Voldermort himself could possibly have such power. And what frightened Lucius the most is that this boy was at the moment probably less than human and at eight years old he could possibly destroy the Dark Lord. 'Wait. This good benefit me….hmmm. I'm going to have to look into this but right now……' Lucius thought as he tried in vain to get to the boy. 

Suddenly, Lucius caught the movements of a black figure nearing the boy from behind. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~*

After having recovered from the sudden magical burst, Severus moved slowly but surely towards the raven haired boy whom he had spotted after getting up from his previous encounter with Harry's magic. Severus had to steady himself and move very slowly, using all the magical energy he could to move through the wall of magic that continued to flow from the boy. 'Damn, such power! It's inconceivable' thought Severus as he continued to near the raven haired boy, who continued to use his magic as the scream that his voice could not utter. 

Severus was now close enough to be able to at least lunge at the boy. With one final pulse of magical strength, Severus pushed threw the boy's magic and grabbed him from behind. Severus turned his body so that he would land on the ground first followed by the emerald eyed boy on his chest. 

Harry began to struggle madly as he stared blankly at the evening sky. He shivered as well the water growing colder under the chill winds. His magic began to dissipate and as soon as Severus could actually move he placed a sleeping spell on the boy. Harry slumped in the tall pale man's arms as he lifted him off the ground. 

"Lucius! Draco!" snapped Severus but his tone held a worried glint to it. 

"We're fine Severus!" cried Lucius as he tried to get out of the thorn bush and tore up his cloths in the process. 

"Great! And these were my favorite robes."

"You never did have a strong sense in fashion."

"Look mister I always wear black because I'm color blind!"

"How is Draco?"

"He's okay, a bit shaken though." Lucius nodded at a sniveling Draco who had yet to let go of his father's robes. The young blond boy looked over at the slumbering figure in his uncle's arms and began sobbing. 

"I'm sorry!" cried Draco as he sobbed into his father's robes trying valiantly to stop his tears "I thought it'd make him smile. I…I…thought…i…i….it was funny" he finished quietly. 

"Shh, Draco it was not your fault. It is exactly as you said, you did not know." Lucius spoke softly but sternly to his son, knowing that the stern tone would tell his son that he was not angry with him for what he had done. 

"Come Draco, why don't you come with me and we'll put Harry here to bed okay?" said Severus as he led the other two back into the manor. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus closed the door to Harry's room softly after laying Harry comfortably on the soft queen sized bed. Draco had been put to sleep in the adjoining room after being calmed by both Lucius and Severus. Both men then entered a small sitting room that was across the hall from the boys' room. 

"What happened?" asked Severus coldly.

"Oh you know, the usual, Draco gives Harry tour, Draco plays prank on Harry, and Harry goes into a magical catatonic shock." Lucius snorted at the look on Severus' face. 

"What in bloody blazes are you saying?"

Lucius recited all the events that had led up to Harry's sudden outburst. Severus couldn't believe that it had caused such a reaction in the boy. Clearly there was a lot of work to be done.

"Lucius can you do a magical mask?"

"Yes for whom?"

"Well given that only person right now that I have effectively removed from Dumbledore's care is now currently sleeping."

"I get it, I get it."

"It is only temporary for now. I don't want Dumbledore detecting the sudden outburst of magic or the ministry. I will need to brew a potion so that Harry will be able to use his magic without being detected." said Severus. 

"What will you do about the boy's relatives? Obviously Dumbledore expects some evidence that the boy is still there."

"Yes. The bastard expressed that very clearly today. I'll just mask a false signature from the magic exerted today and place it in the house."

"That'll work for a period of time." pointed out Lucius.

"Not if I reinforce it with some of his blood."

"Oh yeah sure, just go up to the boy and bleed him."

"I would do no such thing."

"Still in denial Severus?"

"Lucius this is not the time."

"Oh yes and I suppose you are already planning how to use the boy's power to your advantage."

"Of course!" 

Severus sighed as he turned to Lucius. They never noticed a young blond pale skinned boy creep out of his room and sneak into the adjoining one where a raven haired, emerald eyed boy was currently sleeping. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~**~

Draco crept into the room quietly. He saw the small frail boy in the bed and went over quickly to it. Creeping underneath the soft silken sheets he turned only to stare into fathomless emerald eyes. 

The blond boy smiled nervously at the raven haired boy who only a second ago looked so peaceful in slumber. Before Draco could utter a word the emerald eyed boy spoke. 

"I'm sorry sir." said Harry as he stared apathetically at the blond then began to remove himself from the bed. However, before Harry could get any farther a small hand encircled his wrist softly. Harry turned to see silver-blue eyes stare at him tears threatening to fall. 

"I'm sorry Harry. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"Sad?" asked Harry not understanding why this boy was apologizing to him. Someone lower than him. 

"I thought if I got you wet it'd be funny and you'd laugh."

"Did I amuse you?"

"No, it would have been funny if you had laughed with me. I didn't want to make you sad."

"Why? I don't understand. Isn't that why I'm here?" Draco stared into Harry's eyes, confused by the statement. Suddenly innocent eyes blinked and the blond smiled widely at Harry.

"No! silly I want to be your friend."

"Friend?" Harry couldn't understand what the blond boy wanted of him. The other boy had always treated him badly, like he deserved. But this boy was different, he was kind. 

"Yeah! You know and Uncle Severus, Father, and me will help you and you'll be my friend and we'll learn magic together!"

"Do you want me to be your friend?"

"Yes I would."

"Alright. Do you want me to sleep on the floor? This is your bed."

"NO! This is your bed. How bout we share. I don't like the dark."

"I'm used to it. But I'll keep it away from you if you want."

"Thank you Harry." said Draco sleepily as he began to fall asleep.

Harry stared at the sleeping blond momentarily before he too fell asleep. Neither aware of the two figures watching from the doorway. 

*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~  
  


MD: omg what a chapter I'm proud I made up for chapter 7 woohoo.

Draco: see now I feel like shit.

Harry: and you should I had another flash back

Severus: *injects harry with sedative*

Harry: damn. -_-

Draco: thank god.

MD: and I am not on crack.

BDL: yes you are just look at your muses. 

Draco: *smoking weed* wow!

MD: hey put that down I need you sober.

*Lucius and Severus having a tequila shot contest*

Severus: down the hatchet!

Lucius: *passed out*

MD: oh god!

AN: Thanks to all my reviewers I won't do it individually cause I have five minutes to get this posted and I want to do it now! I hope you like this chapter. And harry will probably be starting school next chapter yay!

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW. REVIEWING MAKES ME UPDATE FASTER MUAAHAHAHHAHHAHA. 


	9. Ambivalence

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 9: Ambivalence 

AN: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I didn't mean to take that long I swear. It's just with work, getting sick, not being able to get this freaking chapter organized, beta reading, going to school, homework, and going insane you know it's kind of a load. But a well I finished it didn't I? That should count for something. *cringes from evil glares coming from readers* Well here it is chapter 9. hopefully I've still got most of my readers. God knows my reviews are gonna suffer. 

MD: Hey nooooooo I'm broke damn Christmas!

Harry: Broke are we and yet I remain filthy rich.

Draco: not like you have any sense of individuality to actually use it. 

Harry: Hey! I resent that!

Severus: Wow. Potter you are capable of speaking without drooling. 

Harry: I'm emotionally traumatized not stupid!

MD: guys please! Or I swear I'll tie you all to the freaking wall!

(Severus, Draco, Harry look at Lucius who is still struggling to remove his gag) 

Severus: well I think it's an improvement don't you agree Draco.

Draco: oh yeah very good improvement don't you think so Harry?

Harry: no frankly I think he looks stupid tied and gagged…… 

MD: *sees red* 

Harry: eep! 

Warnings: Flashbacks, Lucius, Severus, Draco in all his cute/Malfoy ways, Harry god Harry more Harry woohoo!

P.S. I am not responsible for what shall occur in this chapter. Oh yeah and has anyone found a disk labeled MD's brain. Yeah I backed it up again and lost it go figure *girgle*. Anyway on to the chap. 

* blah* Draco's little voice.

'blah' Draco's thoughts. 

*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*

_Never was and never will be_

_You don't know how you've betrayed me_

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

_Without the mask where will you hide_

_Can't find yourself lost in your lie_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~_

"Draco! Are you ready?" cried Lucius Malfoy from the bottom of the grand staircase which rested in Malfoy Manor.

"Almost father!" yelled an eleven year old Draco Malfoy who currently found himself under his bed searching for a lost object. 

'Damn it! Where is it? Merlin I never knew there was so much junk under my bed.'

*I told you before to clean it out.*

'Shut up you. I've no time for you.'

*Ok let's recap shall we. Five years and you still haven't figured out that I'm you!*

'Then why are you telling me you are me when I am you and you are ……'

*yeah don't hurt yourself now.*

'Shut up and help me look'

*Still looking for it huh? What makes you think he'll accept it?*

'He's my friend.'

*right….. like he even understands that. He just follows you around like a body guard.*

'He got bigger than me so?'

*bigger. Yeah. Sure.*

'I swear if I wasn't so scared that father would have me examined again I'd tell him to get rid of you!' 

*But then you'd be getting rid of yourself.*

Draco gave an insufferable sigh as he racked a hand through his soft silky hair, "Dragon" as he had deemed the voice in his head was being a particular prick today. Having already been frustrated with the fact that he couldn't find a certain item for Harry had him already wired and between his father and Dragon he was going to snap soon.

Harry. He was a puzzlement to the blond boy. It had been approximately four years since he had met the black haired, emerald eyed boy. Four years that Draco tried relentlessly to get the boy to open up, to smile, to laugh, anything besides his apathetic nature. Four years of mutual success for Harry Potter only smiled for Draco and only talked for Severus, Lucius, and Draco. In turn the boy had become like a protector to the blond boy, always by his side making sure the dark didn't hurt him and for that Draco would always be grateful. Memories brought the blond back to a time when the emerald eyed boy first smiled at him. 

*~*~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~*~*

Nine year old Draco flew with stumbling grace around the mini-sized Quidditch pit that currently belonged to Snape Manor. Though small, the blond was nothing if not graceful on a broom. He twirled and dived, twisted and turned, flipped and nearly gave Lucius a heart attack but through it all the boy maintained a true Malfoy grace. 

Meanwhile, a stoic and passive Harry stood next to an emaculate Severus Snape as he watched the blond boy fly. Harry had refused Draco's invitation to go flying and had prompted to merely watching the boy. Severus had wondered if the choice was due to Harry's lack of knowledge in wizarding sports or if the boy did not feel himself worthy of flying with Draco and engaging in recreational activity. Whatever the case Severus had decided to allow the boy his choice, Harry however remained completely impassive about the sport and truly had not cared for it at all, preferring to watch instead. 

Draco became so engrossed in his flying that he hadn't noticed the giant looming figure flying in his direct path. As the creature grew nearer, Draco turned his attention right at the last minute and saw only red violent eyes approaching him at an incredible speed. The creature was none like he had ever seen, sporting long demonic bat like wings oh its back and long muscular arms covered in pitch black fur and silvery long talons, it had no hind legs except for a long fur covered tail that swayed from side to side and ended with scale covered spikes.  Its mouth, long and narrow and a white crescent scar under its right all was all that differed from the creatures entirely black appearance. Draco hardly even heard the loud cries from his godfather telling him to move out of the way as the boy continued to stare into those red piercing eyes. As the creature neared even closer its jaw clamped tightly shut, Draco finally snapped out of his reverie and veered away from the creature's path. The creature seemingly passed by without a moments glance at the blond frightened boy however, its tail was another story. Without noticing the midnight creature's tail had struck the back of Draco's broom causing him to veer out of control and straight to the ground. 

Severus quickly retracted his wand from his holster, hidden deep within the folds of his robes, and aimed for the plummeting boy. However, his levitation spell was unable to completely immobilize the boy from crashing because of the speed at which he was falling. Severus could only stare in silent horror as the boy continued to plummet and then, out of the corner of his eye something caught his attention. If the raven haired man had not been as sharp eyed as he was the object would of seemed like a mere blur in the night sky, but, he could make out the crop of ebony hair and small yet strong build of an emerald eyed boy who he could of sworn had been beside him only mere seconds ago. 

Draco closed his eyes tightly bracing himself for the upcoming impact and pain that would accompany the fall. However, it never came, instead he felt himself being grabbed roughly. The blond opened his eyes rapidly to see what had grabbed him, fearing that it had been the creature he had seen. Instead he gazed into steel emerald eyes. At that moment he realized that Harry had flown via broom straight into Draco, grabbed him and were now plummeting forward towards the forest only a mere few feet from the ground. Draco felt his head being grasped tightly under the raven haired boy's chin as they crashed through branches and twigs, Harry taking the majority of the hits cushioning Draco's fall. Finally Draco more felt than heard Harry back hit the ground a skid across it for a good eight or ten feet. Through out it all, never, did the blond here his friend make not even a remote sound of pain upon impact. The raven haired boy had remained silent bearing the pain of the fall completely on himself while he shielded Draco. 

Draco opened his eyes again warily as he looked up at Harry who had a small trickle of blood flowing from the corner of his lip down his chin, his cloths torn and dirty, and his bare arms and now back covered in scratches and welts caused by the unforgiving forces of nature. Draco wanted to cry for his friend and scream at him. He couldn't understand why the raven haired boy would let himself get hurt like that for him. Suddenly, a loud piercing screech that sounded more like an alleviating serenade, than a predatory cry, resounded loudly above them, removing all previous thoughts form the young blonde's mind. 

The red eyed creature flew above them, black wings and fur glistening under the moon's light. The creature paused in its song to look at the two fallen boys and then turned and flew off into the depths of the night sky. 

"What was that thing?" asked Draco to know one in particular; knowing Harry would not have the answer either.  

"Are you okay Draco?" asked Harry passively. Draco turned to look at the boy noticing his condition; he quickly removed himself off the raven haired boy. 

"I'm okay Harry but what about you?" 

Harry only looked at him, perplexity playing in his emerald eyes "What do you mean?"

"Harry you're bleeding! And look at your arms and back! Aren't you in pain?"

"Pain is what I am Draco. I promised."

"Promised what?" asked Draco confused.

"I would keep the dark away from you." Said Harry apathetically, Draco was dumbfounded but then his eyes watered slightly and he smiled tenderly at Harry who gave him a small and almost unrecognizable smile back. 

*~*~*~*~*~* End Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*

After that small speck of a smile, Severus had caught up to them. Both Draco and he had been utterly shocked as they watched Harry begin to stand up be it slowly, but still the fact that a nine year old boy could still stand after a fall like that had left them both stupefied and had left Severus wondering just how much the boy's resistance to pain had grown during his imprisonment with those muggles. 

Later, they had learned from Severus that the creature was called a Matulo, a generally non aggressive creature that only appears at night under the moon's light. Its body was strong and powerful but the creature itself was quite gentle despite its fearsome eyes and talons. It would only attack those who attacked it first or its kin. Draco however, still did not like the creature all that much but the glint in Harry's eyes had told them that the boy had at least some mild interest in the thing. 

"Draco!" 

Draco hit his head under the bed as his father's call had startled him out of his memories. Finally seeing what he was looking for, he grabbed the trinket and bolted out of the room.

"Coming father!" 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lucius wondered about his son the relationship that was developing between him and the raven haired boy currently living with Severus. 

Over the past four years Harry had learned how to read properly and at least speak more than four word sentences. He interacted with the others but always remained passive and apathetic towards everything and anything, only smiling slightly at Draco occasionally or asking questions about potions and dark arts to Severus and Lucius. He hardly demonstrated any feelings at all and tended to either keep himself secluded or with Draco most of the time. 

Lucius was also quite surprised at how much the raven haired boy had grown during the last few years. It was amazing what proper feeding and activity could do to a body. He had grown considerably and now stood at least four inches taller than Draco and it was clear that the boy was strong and powerful simply by comparing that of his son's to his. Not that Draco was weak or anything, he just possessed a less rugged body structure, almost feminine like really, aristocratic, like a true Malfoy. 

Lucius watched as his son made his way down the grand staircase of Malfoy manor. 

"Draco is your trunk still upstairs?" 

"Yes father. You said you would get it for me."

"Yes well might as well do it now a quick since we are running late." Lucius pulled out his wand and pointed it towards the top of the staircase.

"Uh father, I don't think……."

"Not now Draco. ACCIO DRACO'S TRUNK!" shouted Lucius not realizing that in his haste to get the trunk down he had used too much force in his spell. Lucius found himself ducking faster than you could say 'quidditch' as the trunk came hurling down the stairs and straight towards Lucius. Face on the floor the tall silver blond cringed as he heard priceless antiquity glass shatter as the trunk hit them. Canceling the spell, the silver blond lifted himself off the ground with as much dignity as he could muster, which wasn't much. 

Draco stood in a corner desperately trying not to laugh at his father. However, a few small snickers escaped him and ended up bringing his father's attention towards him instead of the trunk that he was currently bad mouthing with a passion. 

"Not one word to Severus about this Draco. Not. One." warned Lucius. 

"Sure father. I won't tell Uncle Severus a thing. But ……." 

"But what?"

"Well, what are you going to tell mother about the glass sculpture that can't be repaired with a mending spell. After all, that was her favorite one." Draco smirked at the look of pure horror on his father's face. 

"Damn. Okay this is what we are going to do…" 

*You know you never cease to amaze me.*

'Oh? How so?'

*I mean come on like you are really going to help him cover this up.*

'I would so help. After all I'm the lovable son and mother just adores me'

*Of course she does, just like she adored that glass sculpture which was sculpted in your likeness.*

'What!'

*You didn't know? How could you not of known? I knew.*

'Just because you know doesn't mean I know'

*Okay, let's run this by you again shall we. I am just a figment of your imagination.*

'Right…….and I'm the great wizard Merlin in all his cute glory. Hahah very funny.'

*That made no sense.*

'Yes it did'

*To who? The Queen of England?*

'No, who is that?'

*Nevermind.*

'You know what just go away.'

*Sure, oh and by the way – your father is lucking at you again.*

'Damn you!'

Sure enough Draco found himself looking into the eyes of a concerned Lucius. 

"Draco I think you need to ………" the silver blond man was cut off by a loud shriek, causing him to cringe. 

"Lucius what have you done!?" 

*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~**~~*~*

An: Hah! I'm done! Yeah not much Harry in this chapter sorry, but I thought since hey I couldn't really fit the chapter very well like I wanted it then I improvised by having it from mostly Draco's point of view. Heheheh. Aren't I a genius. Obviously not as much angst here as the other chapters cause well it's Draco come on! But the next chapter they'll meet Hermione and ron and more angst hhahahahhahaahhahahahah. Well I'm finishing this up during my lunch from work so I have to go now. I can't to the individual review responses this time either but I promise I'll do them in the next chapter k. cool. 

MD: Ok. ROLLCALL!

(Severus, Lucius, Draco, and Harry line up)

MD: Alright you two *points at Severus and Lucius* stay. Now you two *points at Harry and Draco who gulp audibly*

Draco: what we do?

Harry: what ever he did I had no part of!

Draco: you traitorous bastard!

Harry: takes one to know one.

Draco: now that's just cliché for you

Harry: I know but she's practically had me as a vegetable for like eight chapters now.

Draco: true.

MD: *throbbing vein* shut up. Now you have to decide it's either BDL or I choose and choose wisely.

(Severus and Lucius playing chess in the background, but secretly placing bets under the table and who kills them first.)

Draco and Harry: Um. BDL.

MD: what?

Draco and Harry: I mean you. 

BDL: what?

Draco and Harry: *hug each other and start crying* please don't hurt us!

BDL: you made them cry.

MD: no that was you.

BDL: yeah well I didn't give them crack now did I 

MD: I told you. You were the one on that crap not them stop hallucinating god!

BDL: shut up slut!

MD: whore!

BDL: tramp!

MD: bitch!

BDL: Voldermort sex slave!

MD: don't use your occupation to dis me!

BDL: ……….


	10. Blah no Title

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 10:….blah no name 

An: Omg I'm done with this chapter woohoo. Hey I wrote it while in the lab doing math hours, ew math! Buwahahahahahah. Anyway see I told you I would have this chapter out real soon……… this is where you all say "right……" oh shush. I tried. School sux! Work sux! Life sux! Ok for any of you who are reading BlackDragonLady's fic. She will be updating as soon as I get off my lazy ass rerebeta her chapter 19 yes we had an incident with it so grrrrrrr. 

An2: I wanted to address a small issue. I am quite flattered that a few of you (my readers/reviewers) have offered to be my beta reader. I am aware that my grammar and spelling in both "Lost but Not Yet Broken" and "Demon's Calling" need to be beta'd, I do already have a beta and a second beta just incase. Most of my chapters are beta'd as soon as they are posted but unfortunately I haven't had the time to replace them with the revised versions. I promise as soon as I have enough time to actually take the time and do that I'll put up the beta version until then please bear with me. I do triple check my chapters myself and try to correct most of my errors but unfortunately I am human and shit escapes the puny thing in between my ears. Damn I just dissed myself ok, I need coffee. But thank you for informing me. 

Draco: zzzzzzzzzzz

Harry: *yawn*

Severus: are you done talking yet?

Lucius: *looking for ice pack*

Harry: damn I feel like it's been a thousand years.

Draco: a thousand and one actually

MD: grrrrrrrrrr

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    
    **_Mister could please maybe lend me a hand_**
    
    ****
    
    **_To help a drowning, starving, soulless man_**
    
    ****
    
    **_Whose eyes are blind and feelings all but numb_**
    
    ****

**_Whose ears are all so deaf _and**

**_Fuel: Empty Spaces mouth_** is d

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

Severus Snape sat patiently in front of the fire place as he waited for Harry to come down. It had been quite a struggle to get the boy to understand that he was allowed knew cloths and accessories, especially in terms of hygiene. Apparently, Harry's years of deprived baths had only increased his desire to be clean. Regularly would he shower, day and night and sometimes, almost obsessively. Severus deduced that Harry most likely enjoyed the feel of warm water caressing his bronze, scarred skin. Unfortunately, Severus was unable to remove the many scars that littered the boy's body, they were just too old. However he had been able to remove the most recent scars from when he had been retrieved. He had tried to put a glamour charm on the boy to hide the scars, but it provided an unexpected reaction in Harry. 

*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus handed a recently awoken Harry Potter a small vial containing an iridescent blue liquid. The ebony haired man directed the boy to drink it with a wave of his hand. Emerald eyes stared blankly at the vial before downing it quickly. Harry made no outward appearance as to the taste of the liquid, which Severus knew tasted worse than fifty year old pumpkin juice mixed with Garat puss. Apparently, the boy was used to ingesting repulsive substances into his system. 

Severus watched passively as the most recent of the boy's injuries healed and closed leaving no evidence of them ever having been inflicted. Harry of course took no notice of the magic being worked on his body but, merely remained perfectly still as if waiting for an order. 

Severus let out an almost nonexistent sigh before addressing the boy "Harry". 

"Yes sir". 

Severus performed a rather complex glamour charm which hid all the boy's scars from sight. After about ten or so minutes he herded the boy towards a large mirror that rested against a far wall in the bedroom. Severus gazed inquisitively at the emerald eyed boy as he stared into the mirror. Calmly the boy took in the perfect smooth skin, reaching a hand to feathery caress his scar less skin. The boy suddenly retracted said hand as if he had been burned. 

"Wrong" whispered the boy.

"Wrong! Wrong!" he suddenly screamed over and over as if it were a mantra. 

Severus could only look on in horror as the boy became frantic, scratching at his arms and chest drawing blood. Harry continued to scream in anguish repeating his mantra, until; finally his desperate cries became tangible. A burst of raw magic came from his body directing itself at the defenseless mirror, shattering the defenseless glass. 

"Damn!" cursed Severus as he regained his senses and noticed that the boy had pegged a rather long and sharp shard of glass, cutting at his arms and chest savagely. However, each cut in its savagery was precise almost mimicking where the original scar would have been without the glamour charm. 

"There. Always….Always! Wrong! Wrong! Always there!" whispered Harry a fury in his voice that belied the disparity of his words, as he cut and slashed at his skin, spilling blood onto the floor and covering the remaining shards of glass in crimson essence. 

Severus grabbed the wrist holding the bloody shard and squeezed causing the boy to drop it. Harry continued to scream and thrash but Severus held him firmly. Finally the boy's strength gave out and he fell back, his eyes glazed and his breaths came out in gasps as he struggled to breath correctly. Severus sighed softly as he gathered the boy and placed him on the soft plush bed at the other end of the room. The tall man bandaged the self inflicted cuts so that they wouldn't continue bleeding profusely before he could heal them properly, placing a sleeping spell on the boy to keep him from trying to inflict anymore harm to himself. Unfortunately, the glamour charm had to be removed first before he could heal the boy's wounds, given the short length of time that the spell had been done. 

Suddenly, the tall thin remembered the masking spell that he needed to place at the Dursleys in order to keep Dumbledore from finding the boy's whereabouts. Quickly, he collected a small vial worth of blood from the glass littered floor and spelled the crimson mess away. Using a repairing spell for the mirror, he quickly headed towards his office, leaving a sleeping emerald boy to his dreams however unpleasant they were.

*~*~*~*End Flashback *~*~*~*~*~*

Severus Had used the boy's blood and with Lucius's help had created a very powerful masking spell which he linked to the boy's uncle so that when ever the obese man was angered the energy signatures would fluctuate, making it look like the boy was merely having a fit. Fortunately, like Malfoy Manor, Snape Manor was surrounded by incredibly strong wards thus; no magic used within its confines could be detected. 

Severus had removed the glamour charm and healed the self inflicted wounds. This had apparently calmed the boy when he had woken up. It seemed that the boy had lived with the existence of these scars for so long that to be with out them was like loosing himself in a sea of darkness. They reminded him of whom or what he was depending from what perspective he viewed himself, which was most likely the latter. The fact that the boy had been cutting in the exact areas where his real scars would have been, unnerved Severus greatly. Perhaps the visual aspects of them were like a security blanket for the boy. Informing him that he still existed even if he had become numb to the pain and the darkness, at least, that was Severus' assumption. 

A loud thumping noise startled the raven haired man, he moved quickly to the source of the disturbance, his wand drawn ready to strike. What he saw was an eleven year old Harry Potter struggling to drag his trunk down a flight of stairs. His eyes focused on his task, a small sheen of sweat trailed down his neck as he hefted the heavy burden up and then dragged it onto another step. Severus was surprised that the boy had even been able to move the thing out of his room, let alone drag down a hallway and down at least six steps worth of stairs. Of course it was the boy's own penchant for Literature that was the reason for his heavy load. 

After Harry learned to read and write properly, he had developed an inert passion for literature. He rigorously read everyday often under the veil of night, even advancing to higher lever potions, charms, and transfiguration books. Severus was amazed at the boy's capacity to learn. Yet, he could not acquire the basic needs for expressing emotion and thought. It was rare to see Harry speak and almost nonexistent to see him express any type of emotion. However, when he did it was either to ask a question concerning one of his books or to address Draco or to respond to a request from Lucius or Severus which generally consisted of a blank "yes sir". Now, it was apparent that the boy had packed every single last novel or text available to him, it almost seemed as thought the boy had packed as if he were not expecting to return. 

"Harry?"

"Yes…" Harry let out an inaudible grunt as he lifted the trunk again "…sir?"

"I believe it would be prudent if you let me deal with the trunk. You did not need to pack all your books Harry; they have a library with more than enough for you to read. Besides you will be returning in the summer and Christmas holidays if you wish" said Severus in a commanding tone yet leaving the statement open for refuting. It had taken them at least six months to get Harry to understand and accept that he was allowed to have material possessions like a bed, clothes, and any thing else he either required or desired. Harry of course had refused to touch or wear anything other than the rags he had been found in. He had taken to sleeping on the floor in a corner of the bedroom except when Draco slept over and insisted that they share the bed. At first Draco had been sleeping in his own bedroom but would often awaken in the middle of the night and sneak into Harry's room where he would find the boy on the floor and tell him to get in bed. Eventually, the raven haired boy got the hint and began using the plush bed continuously. 

Over time he had relented and allowed him-self to be clothed in the finest money could buy and with his growing interest in books, he gradually became bolder often asking if he could have another book or perhaps order one. Yes, the boy would not ask for any other material needs other than literature based, even parchment was rarely demanded. Many times Severus had caught the boy using old scraps of parchment to write and practice ideas rather than waste the new parchment that he had and could easily be restocked. 

Severus had been very careful not to tip off Dumbledore of Harry's whereabouts, thus he never took the boy beyond the Manor's wards. Often he'd give the boy wizardry catalogs where he could pick out anything he wanted or was in need of. Even his wand had been an endeavor, having to collect Mr. Olivander and bring him to Snape Manor for Harry's wand purchase and then paying the man off to keep his mouth shut. 

"Severus sir?" said a young yet eerily lifeless voice. 

"Hmm. Yes, well come along Harry, we need to get you to the train station" said Severus as he shrunk the heavy trunk. 

The journey to platform nine and three quarters was uneventful, consisting mostly of Severus explaining to Harry what he needed to do. 

"I cannot lead you all the way into the station Harry. I must return to Hogwarts and prepare for the students arrival."

"Yes sir."

"Draco will be waiting for you on platform nine, he will instruct you on how to get onto the platform. I must ask that you not mention anything about living with me. As far as anyone is concerned, you still live with your relatives – understood?"

'Not that he would say anything anyway' thought Severus dejectedly. 

"Yes sir."

"Harry I need you to understand something, at Hogwarts you will not be denied anything. You can do as you wish as long as you follow the rules of the school and do not cause trouble."

"Yes sir."

"Very well then, we are here. I shall escort you as far as the ticket station. You have your ticket correct?"

"Yes sir."

Severus nodded as he put the boy's belongings onto a nearby trolley. The raven haired man had no need to question the boy in regards to the instructions just given for; he knew Harry would follow them to the lit. Severus bid young Harry a good journey and watched silently as the boy disappeared through the crowds. A faint remnant of a smile marred his stoic features as he headed back to the muggle car in which he had arrived. 

Upon reaching the vehicle, Severus noticed a one Lucius Malfoy leaning against the side door, sporting a very prominent black eye. Had Severus not been such a controlled man he would surely have found himself on the floor laughing uncontrollably, instead he opted for the direct effect. 

"What did Narcissa hex you with this time?"

"She opted for the muggle way of throwing priceless vases at me" responded the platinum blond man as he fought valiantly to prevent a pout from forming on his bruised face. 

"I see. And you gracefully fell in contact with one?" asked Severus, indicating the black eye on the man's face, as a smirk found its way onto his features. 

"No. I gracefully fell in contact with the side of a door in my attempt to make a tactical retreat."

"In other words, you broke something, she used you as target practice, and in your cowardice you ran into a door."

"…."

Severus couldn't contain himself any longer and let out a deep throaty chuckle, the closest thing to a laugh he would ever get to. The one eyed glare coming from his silver eyes friend did not help matters either. 

"I imagine that a certain proud Dragon did not want to bear the shame of his father sporting a black eye caused by the subsequent run in with a door and opted to have only his mother send him off."

"…."

Severus found himself chuckling again. The great Lucius Malfoy may be a brilliant manipulator, the best dark magic using wizard this century, and a all around evil prick with a sadistic sense of humor, but, when it came to his wife, he was the epitome of the words "chicken wuss". 

"Come on Lucius, I will give you a potion for that eye. Or, has your esteemed spouse forbidden you from magically healing it?"

"…."

This time Severus chuckle was so close to an outright fit of laughter that had anyone other than his friend heard it, they would have been dumfounded at the idea of Severus Snape actually laughing.  

*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*

Harry pushed his trolley silently pass the platforms and many crowds until he reached platform nine. He easily spotted the gold locks of one Draco Malfoy as he leaned against his own trolley, a small frown gracing his immaculate features. The raven haired boy headed towards the blond quickly with his head down. 

Draco sighted his friend and immediately perked up. "Harry!" he practically screamed drawing attention from a few near by muggles who promptly returned to their own business. 

"Hello Draco" greeted Harry apathetically while keeping his head down. 

*Now what did you do?*

'I did nothing'

*then why is he all submissive like, all of a sudden*

'He's always like that!'

*True.*

'Then Shut Up!'

*…..*

Draco bent his head under Harry's downcast one in order to reach eye contact "don't worry Harry; we'll have fun at school, promise".

"Okay Draco" said the raven haired boy passively.

"Come on we have to get through the barrier."

Harry gave Draco a confused look, causing the blond to smile brilliantly. 

"Just follow me, we'll do it together. Now, we're going to take our trolleys and run towards that brick wall over there okay?" Draco restrained the chuckle that wanted desperately to escape as his friend fought between being confused and impassively nodding his nonexistent understanding. 

"Magic Harry – remember. Okay! Ready? Now!" 

Both boys began running towards the barrier, Draco fell in step behind his friend so that eh could get through first and not end up crashing side to side with him. Hoping that the raven haired boy had moved aside immediately, the blond sped through the magical barrier and found Harry waiting for him on the other side, his face a complete blank. However, Draco knew better, he knew that the emerald eyed boy was completely taken aback at least by the idea of a platform existing within the confines of a wall or simply the sight before him but just couldn't or wouldn't willfully express it

After saying goodbye to Narcissa Malfoy, well, more like Draco saying goodbye enthusiastically and Harry merely sending a solemn "goodbye Mrs. Malof", they boarded the train; both helping each other with their trunks although Draco's was considerably lighter. 

Finding an empty compartment both boys settled on opposite seats. Draco had decided to take an early nap leaving Harry to his own devices with another book. After a good hour or so the loud slide and snap of the compartment door startled both boys from their stupor. 

A lanky, thin, red headed boy with small freckles adorning his cheeks entered the compartment, followed by two other boys: one a tall average build boy with stale grey hair, a hooked nose, and dull blue eyes; the other, a rather hyperactive boy with dark brown locks that reached his shoulders and lightly tanned skin. 

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" asked the red head. 

Harry continued his book, ignoring the intrusion but keeping one narrowed emerald eye on the group as Draco stood grumpily to address them. 

"Yes you did. Haven't you ever heard of knocking first or is that not part of your manners training" said Draco haughtily. 

"It's not your compartment now is it blondee?" said the red head as he walked towards Harry who merely stared coldly. 

"Hi, my name is Ron Weasley. This is Seamus Finnigan" he said pointing at the dark haired boy "and this…" indicating the grey haired boy "… is Jacob Donigan".

Harry stared coldly at the three intrusions and then turned his gaze towards Draco who merely shrugged in indifference. The raven haired boy interpreted the action as a go ahead to answer the boy and did so accordingly. 

"Harry" he said before turning back to his book. 

Ron found it odd that Harry hadn't stated his last name but ignored it. 

"Now, if you would leave" said Draco, irked by the continued imposition of the three boys. Suddenly the grey haired boy, Jacob, turned towards the blond, an inquisitive look on his face. 

"And you are?"

Before the blond could respond, he was interrupted by the snooty voice or the every annoying red head. 

"He's a Malfoy."

"Nice to know the name gets around - even to the lower class" sneered Draco.

"You Malfoys are all the same. Think you are so good and all cause you're rich."

"Is that jealousy or envy I here Weasley?" taunted the blond. The red head scowled deeply before turning his attention towards Harry again. Seamus merely ignored the interactions between the four opting to wait for his friends by the door. 

"You shouldn't associate yourself with Malfoys Harry, it'll only bring you trouble. After all, Malfoys only end up as filthy snake who become dark wizards later." 

**(An: do you see a role reversal here. Lmao. Hmm oh boy am I original *sniff* -_- and it was unintentional to can you believe it!)**

Draco was seething, his fists clenched and unclenched as he tried to control himself. He had always despised the fact that people only seemed to follow the stereotypes laid out by people who only saw the mistakes of a few Malfoys and not the achievement of the family as a whole. True, Malfoys did tend to be snobbish and smug about their position but only as a safety measure against the prejudices of people like the idiot in front of him.  Suddenly, subtle movement caught his eye, in a flash that was more of a graceful stance than actual speed, the blond found Harry standing not more than six inches from the offending red head, staring coldly at all three. 

"Draco wants you to leave." 

All three pairs of eyes widened, Draco's anger completely vanished and he couldn't help but stare at his friend. True, Harry had developed an odd sense of protectiveness for the blond but it was often Draco who had to step up just to get a reaction from the raven haired boy. 

The fact that Harry had uttered even those words to the trio; sure, he was only enforcing the blonde's own desire for them to leave but still, it was something unexpected from the raven haired boy's apathetic character. However, the red haired boy would not be deterred, his eyes narrowed as he looked back at the blond and then to Harry. 

"I see…" he said before turning on his heel and heading out the compartment "… you'll regret this Harry. Malfoy slime will always be good for nothing. Bloody bunch of scum the lot of them!" with that the three left, muttering between themselves, leaving a now newly fuming Draco and a passive Harry who merely sat himself near a window, the initial intrusion gone. 

"What do you think Harry?" asked the blond while trying to restrain his temper. 

"I don't understand."

"Father and Severus are both dark wizards. And many dark wizards kill people and hurt them. Weasley wasn't lying though, many of them come from the snake house, Slytherin…" there was a childish insecurity in the blonde's voice. So childish and innocent that it belied the arrogant Malfoy character that he had just, only moments ago portrayed so valiantly. Harry stared into silver-blue innocent eyes for what seemed like an eternity before finally tearing his gaze away slowly. 

"Draco is Draco."

The blond could only let out a massive smile, his eyes full of tender caring for his friend, who, with three simple words had told him more than he could have fathomed from any lengthy explanation. The remaining train ride was spent in a comfortable silence between the two, only once interrupted by a bushy haired girl looking for her lost cousin.

*~*~*~~*~*~*

An: WoW! Ten freaking pages! That's a new record! God damn and it's only 1 am wohoo! Party over here! Well there would be had the werewolves not stolen all my liquor. Anyway well I hope you enjoyed I know there was a lot of info in this chapter but I had to compensate for the lack of info in chapter 9. I can't help but make fun of Lucius and I know you all expected an actual scene between Lucius and Narcissa but I just didn't have it in me. Narcissa isn't a real key character in this so I'm trying to keep as low key as possible. Now Snowgirl has alerted me to the fact that I have completely forgotten about Hermione. Well no worries if I remember any she might/ will make a cameo! lmao

MD: well till chapter 11.

Draco: thank god! 

Harry: *goes back to sleep*

Lucius and Severus: *sticking a ferret down his pants*

MD: *winces* that ferret is not going to be nice. 

BDL: BUWHAHAHAHHAAH!


	11. Eternal not Immortal

Lost But Not Yet Broken  
  
Chapter 11: Eternal not Immortal  
  
An: Ok don't kill me please! I am so sorry this has taken me soooooo long to update! And trust me from what I've seen in my reviews I think you all are just about ready to hang me right now. I am going to try and update more frequently really, but rest assured that this fic will be finished and I will not be updating one chapter per year. That would be cruel. This and Demon's Calling will be completed and until then I am not going to start on the next two fics that I have planned.  
  
An2: It has come to my attention that there are people who are still interested in one of my first fics called Demon Tears which is posted on Black Dragon Lady's account. I have not really been interested in finishing that fic and have decided to leave its development in BDL's hands should she wish to finish it. However, if there are people who want that fic continued please tell me, and I will greatly consider it. However, until then I think it will remain unfinished because frankly BDL is a lazy bitch. Hahah.  
  
Disclaimer: ok if you don't get it by now you're in need of help.  
  
Warnings: Sorting, Dumbledore in all his bastardness, probably more angst, and well etc. etc. (I'm writing this chapter on a whim actually - go figure)  
  
blah dragon (draco's little voice)  
  
'blah' Draco's mind voice  
  
-blah- sorting hat for all it's worth  
  
I still remember the sun  
  
Always warm on my back  
  
Somehow it seems colder now  
  
Where has my heart gone  
  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
  
I want to go back to  
  
Believing in everything  
  
Evanescence Origin: Field of Innocence   
  
Fierce and powerful, the Hogwarts Express ceased its long virtuous trip at Hogsmeade Station. Litters of children exited the bright red contraption. Children whose future lay in the prospects of light and dark, the shades of grey completely lost on them. Prejudice and expectation were their futures and so is the future of these two young boys. Draco Malfoy, born into a family of dark wizards and power, expected by all others to be the spawn of the devil himself, crafty and arrogant as the true Slytherin heritage in him. However, little knew of the frightened innocent child behind the mask. The blond blue eyed child ignorant to the horrors of his father's past and sheltered from such evils, free to make his path.  
  
And next to him one Harry Potter, a boy lost within himself and unknowingly questing for his self; the world's savior and yet he is ignorant to such praise. His fame, he will not understand and now he enters into this world with the very one which he is expected to hate by association. He steps onto the firm ground of the wizard world without feeling or understanding.  
  
Harry potter, gazed at the multitude of people around him and for a split second he was engulfed in the panic of such surroundings. Deprived for so long and in solitude except for the four people to whom have been kind to him, he was lost. However, just as sudden as the feeling came he sensed the warmth of curling fingers around his hand and he turned towards his companion. Blue gentle eyes stared into emerald depths. The blond boy uttered comforting words in a whisper as the rest of their peers passed them quickly like a forward in time. In that moment they are alone, they are the center of this universe and he is at least not abandoned.  
  
"It'll be okay, don't worry Harry" the blond smiles sweetly, a reassuring smile to those who know it but to Harry Potter, he can only grasp the words, their feeling lost on him.  
  
The loud booming voice of a great giant man can be heard and Draco turns towards the sound, hearing the man's command for all the first years to come forward. Harry and he march towards him, one impassive, the other nervous beyond anything else. The giant man introduces himself as Rubeus Hagrid, Gamekeeper of Hogwarts. He is a sturdy man of obvious unnatural strength yet his voice is gentle and kind, his speech ineloquent and broken. Draco greets him with the traditional Malfoy sneer but can utter no scathing remarks to the giant, his own innocent prevents him.  
  
You know it is expected  
  
'But he seems so nice'  
  
I know that but you are a Malfoy  
  
'I don't care father never said I had to be nasty'  
  
True, but if you don't, the others will be cruel  
  
'They'll be mean either way. Harry will be with me'  
  
He can't always be  
  
'Oh shut up and go back to where ever it was you came from!'  
  
........  
  
Draco was growing increasingly agitated with Dragon but kept it to himself, however he did notice that some of his peers were staring at him, but ignored them in true Malfoy fashion. He joined his raven haired companion in one of the small boats.  
  
As they neared the large castle, the blond boy was truly fascinated by what he saw, a majestic castle of unfathomable grandeur, larger than even Malfoy and Snape Manor combined. It was something out of a fairytale, only this fairytale actually existed. Young Draco could not hide his satisfied grin as he eyed Harry, who also seemed transfixed with the giant structure.  
  
Finally they reached the shore of the lake and disembarked from the small magically pulled boats. Draco noticed that the red haired boy and his posse were way ahead of them, laughing and muttering happily like ignorant fools. The blond opted to keep his distance from the group as a way of self preservation.  
  
They walked, tired from the long journey but eager to reach their new temporary home, reaching a large staircase that led up to a single solitary wooden door. A strict woman in a deep forest green robe and a stern disposition stood analytically taking in every child that dare find her eye's gaze.  
  
Harry patiently waited for whatever it was that would happen at this fairytale land of mystery and wonder. His gaze analyzed the structure of the grand castle and those peers surrounding his person. However, it was the warmth of the clenching hand in his grasp that drew his attention. He looked down at the pale length fingers curled around his scared bronze digits and lifted his head to see their owner's face. However, the blonde's gaze was firmly stationed on the stony woman before them, yet his hand squeezed lightly every few seconds, as if searching for reassurance through the touch and warmth. Confused by the action yet for some unknown reason to the black haired boy, he remained unmoving and impassive allowing the comforting touch to continue.  
  
Severus Snape felt like jumping off the Astronomy tower. His nervous tension for the black haired boy grew with every second. He was truly unsure of what would happen. He had fooled Dumbledore, of that he was certain or else the old fool would have probably killed him by now, or worse. He shifted slightly in his seat, as he waited anxiously for the first years to be walked in by Minerva McGonagal. Minerva, he smirked, as the thought of her intimidating stature scaring half the students into a dead faint appeared in his mind. Normally he would not indulge in such trivial thoughts but the time with Harry had taught him to be a bit more open to simple pleasures. The fact that those very pleasures could be denied had never occurred to him until – Harry, thus he had learned to at least subtlety enjoy them.  
  
He watched with passive interest as the large double doors of the great hall opened, revealing a steady stream of fresh young students destined to become the driving force of the wizardry world.  
  
As he watched the skittish young first years enter, his gaze fell on the innocent child that was Lucius Malfoy's son. No one would ever believe that a Malfoy could possibly retain so much compassion and purity, but there he was, with his mask of Malfoy arrogance in place. A sneer marred his face as he looked down upon every "inferior being" in his presence.  
  
Draco Malfoy portrayed the perfect façade of a spoiled pureblood. However, Severus knew that having to live such a cruel farce at such a young age must be quite disheartening for one such as him. It was a sad reality that this cheerful boy must be denied the opportunity of a normal childhood, filled with innumerous friends and adventures, much like a certain raven haired boy that he knew, all because was a Malfoy. And in times of dark corruption and guilty associations, it was such pretenses that have allowed the survival of such wizardry families as the Malfoys.  
  
Harry Potter was another such child, only his façade was carved with the sharp unyielding blade of pain and suffering. A boy with no self identity, a boy lost but not yet broken, he will be the savior or the destroyer, he will the balance of power to the wizardry world's future. With these thoughts in mind Severus Snape could only gaze stoically at the raven haired boy whose future was not yet set in stone and his eyes fell towards the blond boy whose wistful innocence had given Harry Potter a second chance at life. If Severus had ever been sure of anything in his life it was that, Draco Malfoy would be the balance to Harry Potter's power.  
  
Suddenly, Severus' musings were interrupted by the strict tone of Minerva Mcgonagal's voice announcing the sorting. He observed attentively, not noticing the stony look that the headmaster had set upon him before turning back to the sorting.  
  
One by one the future youths of Hogwarts walked up the dais where they would discover their place in this world. Each sorting took from mere seconds to agonizing minutes and finally the name of the "white dragon" was called.  
  
"Malfoy, Draco!"  
  
Draco gave Harry a small reassuring smile before he slipped away from his friend. The raven haired boy only looked on in perplexed silence as Draco climbed the dais. Draco could quite clearly the cruel murmurs of his fellow peers as he walked. He knew that it was ignorance that caused his family to be hated. He did not know the true horrors of his family's past that lay buried away from his innocent sight. He only knew the façade that he was instructed to maintain until such the time came when his father felt sure of their safety – and the blond boy would not question the path his father had revealed to him.  
  
He sat on the stool comfortably as McGonagal placed the ragged sorting hat upon his form. Then, all went dark for a micro of a second.  
  
-Ah, I have been expecting you white dragon of the Malfoy name-  
  
-I must say I did not expect to find what I see. However, you are not alone in here are you little dragon?-  
  
'Dragon is in here with me, he never leaves me.'  
  
Yeah I'm still here. Now can we get sorted already.  
  
'Hey! Since when is it we, aren't you me?'  
  
........  
  
-It appears there is much that you have kept from him.-  
  
Oh, shut up you. Don't make me have to hex you.  
  
'Little hard. When you don't have a body!'  
  
I have yours don't I?  
  
'Hey! You wouldn't?'  
  
Well since I am you, technically I can.  
  
-A technicality that will not aid you.-  
  
'Um, okay I'm getting confused, can I just get sorted please.'  
  
-Very well little dragon. I see that you are not as I expected. Though you have much ambition and cunning, there is also a passion for life and a courage that I have never seen in a Malfoy-  
  
But of course! 'cause he's the freaking black sheep of the family and I got stuck with him!  
  
'Do you want to die – No? then shut up!'  
  
-Hmm, there is someone, one, who drives these ambitions in you-  
  
'Yeah, I want to be strong and powerful so I can be there for him like he's been for me'  
  
You mean been confused by you right?  
  
-Very well, there is only one place for you Draco Malfoy but remember, there will be many trials in your future and they will test the darkness to your light.-  
  
Oh just peachy  
  
'Shut. Up.'  
  
Harry observed passively as the blond boy sat on the stool and the queer looking hat was placed on his head. He gradually acknowledged that he to would have to endure this task. However, he had given little thought to the proceedings until now. The raven haired boy waited many minutes for the hat to be removed, during this time he did not notice the strange dark glint in the Headmaster's eyes as his gaze fell upon the emerald eyed boy. Suddenly, a loud boisterous voice called out and Harry dimly noticed it coming from the old hat.  
  
"SLYTHERIN!"  
  
The emerald eyed boy watched as his blond counterpart took off the hat in his excitement and walked off the dais towards a table of loudly cheering peers. The blond boy gave him a bright reassuring smile that he could not fully interpret as a comforting gesture. A few more minutes passed and the sound of McGonagal's voice sounded again as she called out his name.  
  
Suddenly, there was an audible silence in the room as the implications of such a name fell over the room. Soon, there were small whispers and murmurs about him. However, Harry understood little of this and paid it no mind. He looked towards Draco who gave him a reassuring nod to continue just as he had done.  
  
Harry slowly walked towards the dais, his apathetic eyes on the hat the entire time. However, many around him noticed the stoic boy moving towards the dais. Yet, they noticed much more than just a boy, they saw the thin but clear scars on the boy's cheeks, the small scarred cuts on his hands and fingers, the dull light in the his eyes, and the cold demeanor of a heartless beast waiting to pounce. All this was quite unnerving to the children who had grown to know the legends of "The Harry Potter", their savior from the evil Dark Lord. At the lion's table three boy's, the leader sporting bright red colored hair, sat in shock at the announcement. However, Harry did not care for such trivialities and continued to walk towards the dais.  
  
Finally he reached the small stool and cautiously sat upon it, hoping that he did not commit a faux pas by assuming the same positions as those around him. The hat slid easily over his eyes and he felt the darkness before it even appeared.  
  
Then in less than a second there was brightness within his eyes yet he was surrounded by black nothingness and he could here a voice, speak to him from somewhere yet from nowhere.  
  
-Very interesting child, the great Harry Potter, I had hoped to sort you for a very long time. Alas, you are not as I would have imagined.-  
  
'I have never met you.'  
  
-No, you are correct, we have never met but I have known you would come for many a time young one.-  
  
'I am as I am that is all that is needed to know.'  
  
-Hmm, very wise young one. You have suffered much in a short life. But, I cannot read you little one. Your mind is like a dark cavern devoid of anything but analytics and logic.-  
  
-Where is your heart?-  
  
'I have not found it yet.'  
  
-I see. Some one is guiding you.-  
  
'Yes. I serve him because the other will not allow it.'  
  
-Tell me, for I cannot see it except as an icy fire, where would you rather belong.-  
  
'Belong? I am to Draco for as long as he desires me.'  
  
-Hmm, it all makes sense now. You will remain by his side because you wish it?-  
  
'Because he wishes it, I am not the answer but he is the question.'  
  
-Indeed, you are most cryptic, even in here you have not known feeling have you?-  
  
-Very well, then if it is the white dragon that guides you then I will make it easier for you.-  
  
To Severus it seemed like hours had passed since the hat had been placed on the raven haired boy's head. He was proud of Draco for being in Slytherin but grew more anxious with Harry as time passed. He knew the boy had progressed slowly in the last four years and had yet to exhibit any true feelings. The only one who seemed to open the stone walls in the boy was Draco.  
  
Severus knew that Harry's mind was even more cryptic and apathetic than he portrayed. The times that he had had to perform the 'Legilimens' spell simply to understand why the boy had told him enough. As he had grown older, he had cast a block with the memories of his young but painful years, only extreme triggers like the sound and sight of deep water would awaken the agony of those memories. He wondered how the hat would deal with such a closed mind, and then suddenly his question was answered with one loudly cried word.  
  
"SLYTHERIN!"  
  
Slytherin, the stoic man could hardly believe it but then it seemed like a logical choice. If you can not find the truth of the person then place him where the serpents will protect his secrets. At least now, Severus could be at ease with the knowledge that he could keep a better eye on Harry and protect him from Dumbledore's grasp but, the boy would not be alone in for his time in this school. He was now a part of the serpent house and like the winter serpents, who coiled together during the times of greater need and peril, so did his house. Perhaps if Merlin allowed it, Harry may yet find himself within the walls of Hogwarts, Severus only prayed that Albus Dumbledore not hinder it.  
  
The slim man's thoughts were interrupted by the sudden movement of three individuals.  
  
Draco watched excitedly as Harry made his way to the Slytherin table. Many of the other Slytherins congratulated the raven haired boy quietly as he made his way to the blond. Of course Harry merely nodded towards each but his gaze never wavered from Draco's. However, Draco was so enraptured by the approach of his friend that he did not notice the three Gryffindor boys moving quickly towards him.  
  
Ron, Seamus, and Jacob were quickly advancing on the Slytherin table. None of the snakes paying them any mind as their attention was solely on the new recruit. Ron brought his fist back as he neared the distracted blond.  
  
Draco's joyful smile suddenly vanished as he noticed Harry pushing past his peers with great urgency. He wondered idly what could possibly be wrong for the boy to exert himself with such necessity. Suddenly, he heard his surname being called and turned to see who it was; only what he saw was a fist rapidly coming for his face.  
  
Ron struck head on with a force that could have broken anyone's jaw. The entire great hall suddenly went deathly silent and Ron wondered why, having closed his eyes at the last moment to further enjoy the feeling of hitting Malfoy. The red head opened his eyes; a smirk on his face as he looked at his victim, what he found shocked him to the bone.  
  
His fist was currently imbedded not in Draco Malfoy's face but in the jaw of one Harry Potter.......  
  
An: tada! I'm done! Buwhahahah. Yeah I know I'm sorry for the cliffy although I don't think it's a really bad one. I am so sorry that I have taken so long to do this. I actually smacked my ass on the chair and started typing casue I did not want this to move into july. I promise I will have the next chapter up sooner. I will have you wait three months for it again. I do apologize for the wait. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!  
  
Sev: Do you know that I have been killed five times in the time that it has taken you to right this chapter.  
  
MD: cocks shotgun and fires and now it is six.  
  
AN2: oh by the way I will be changing my author name to KUROI YANAGI. I finally got sick of Mystic Dragon. So yeah I am now Kuroi Yanagi. Woohoo. Oh and please check my profile for any new info regarding the updates of my stories or any other developments.  
  
Ok sending my thanks.  
  
I would like to thank all my wonderful reviewers who have been so patient with me.  
  
Yes I do read the reviews and I love to read whatever suggestions you present me with.  
  
A lot of your ideas I take into account and sometimes I might incorporate them if I find that they will benefit the story. However, I don't anyone to think that I will incorporate any suggestions just for the hell of it. I find sometimes the view point of others can help make something better but if I don't think it is wise to do so I will do it although I do appreciate greatly the thought.  
  
Thank you for the over a hundred reviews that I have gotten for this fic and I hope to get even more as it progresses.  
  
Please continue to feel free to review or flame however you want. I especially appreciate constructive criticism.  
  
Oh and yes I do know about the spelling errors, although I try to keep them to a minimum. Some do escape; the chapters are being revised by my beta Black Dragon Lady, who is currently on a cruise in the Bahamas so I won't be seeing her till next week, and will be posted up later on.  
  



	12. Immaturity's Amateur

1Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 12: Immaturity's Amateur

An: I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooo very sorry! I know, I know, I said I wouldn't take so long to update this chapter and I have made myself out to be a liar. Well you'll be happy to know that I am getting a new computer, one that doesn't freeze every time I try to open Word..

An: Oh for everyone who hasn't realized it yet where I was formerly known as Mystic Dragon1 I am now Sinful Wolf, not that you didn't notice from the ahem author name right next to the title on

Warnings: Ron (need I say more) meet Hermione (cause I remembered) more Sev bashing by evil Dumbledore. Grrr. OH and something else that I have no idea and hope to come up with as I type. LoL.

_Where has my heart gone_

_  
An uneven trade for the real world_

_  
I want to go back to_

_  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all  
  
I still remember the sun_

_  
Always warm on my back_

_  
Somehow it seems colder now_

_Where has my heart gone_

_  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_

_  
I want to go back to_

_  
Believing in everything  
  
I still remember..._

_Fields of Innocence: Evanescence _

__

Lucius Malfoy sat comfortably in a large plush high back chair, a goblet of rich Chardonnay wine lay carelessly upon his open palm. His pale silverish hair glittered under the crackling flames of a roaring fire. However, Lucius' mind was a multitude of thoughts and memories, among them – his son.

As he sat beside the fire's warmth the pale skinned man sipped his wine and thought of his son and all that had happened since his friend had brought a fallen angel to their fold. A boy who had been thrown a bad card and had suffered unanimously because of it, yet, he held such a naivete and fragility. Lucius could not help but chuckle as he compared that poor raven haired angel to his little dragon. Draco, so different yet similar to Harry, however his Draco had never suffered, never felt the pain of humiliation and terror, never known what it was to not be loved, because Lucius and Narcissa had made it a point to lavish their only child with love and necessities. However, his platinum blond boy was just as fragile as Harry; Draco held an innocence stemming from a whole heart where Harry's stemmed from broken and shattered pieces that somehow continued to find a way to beat.

Lucius smiled a soft gentle smile as memories resurfaced of a time when little Harry was still trying to learn the fundamentals of reading and yet was so utterly confused by his situation. Yes, Lucius remembered the first time in which he realized that Draco and Harry were meant of meet whether in this time or the next their souls would never be apart for, they were the strength to each other's frailty.

"No, no Harry, the "g" curves to the left not the right, that's a "q"." Chastised an energetic Draco, who was rapidly becoming frustrated with his friend.

Harry had quickly mastered reading but had a bit of difficulty grasping the art of scripture. Harry understood the words and what he read but would many times write the letters incorrectly even though he knew how to make the words up. Sometimes an "A" would be an "O" or and "S" a "Z", however, Draco was determined to help the nine year old raven haired boy learn to do it correctly; Even if he had to rip his hair out in the process.

"I am sorry Draco...." Harry quieted down immediately after he saw the look on the blond boy's face. Many times during their odd relationship, Draco had become mal tempered with Harry because of his habit of apologizing for every little infraction. As sweet and innocent as Draco was, he had a wicked temper to rival a banshee. Harry kept his gaze down, while trying to sort out his confusion as to why these people even bothered to teach him anything. Suddenly, he felt a soft hand on his shoulder but the raven haired boy could not hold back the flinch at the unexpected touch. He turned to see Draco, having completely ignored the flinch, smiling brightly at him. His blond locks swaying in every direction as he jumped like a rabbit.

"Don't worry Harry you'll get it. I'll help, although Uncle Sev says I'm bad at writing. But then again Uncle Sev says I could write a book on bad grammar, so I guess that I'm pretty good at writing bad huh?" Draco said.

Harry nodded mutely and tried yet again to write out his current obstacle. He felt the blond watching him but continued in his task. Draco wanted him to do it right and he would not fail him. Since the night that the blond and he had fallen asleep together, Harry had become adamant about being at Draco's side. Over time, he had begun speaking with out being asked although mildly. It was hardly anything to really spark a conversation; he was no longer afraid to ask questions, well, instructive questions anyway, and tended to try hard to please the people that he currently resided with.

Suddenly a loud squeal resounded through the room causing Harry to stop during his writing.

"Look Harry! You wrote the whole sentence correctly! That's great." Draco said enthusiastically as he beamed at the raven haired boy's work. Harry gave Draco a small ghost of a smile at the vigorous blond.

From the corner of the room lay a soft high back chair, Lucius sitting comfortably in it a book in his hand and his eyes softly watching the interaction of the two boys. He smiled softly as he noticed the small smile that graced the raven haired boy's lips, and then quietly returned to his book.

Lucius shook his head, attempting to clear out the clutter of old memories. The platinum blond man stood gracefully from his position, setting his goblet down on the side table. A smile graced his full lips as he remembered that ghost of a smile that had resided on the raven haired boy's lips. Truly, were they meant to meet, whether in this life or in the next Lucius knew without a doubt that his son was meant to find such a friend as Harry Potter.

Lucius could not help but laugh quietly to himself as he strolled towards to the bookcases. "To think that a Death Eater would grow to care for the boy-who-lived; this world is truly unpredictably ludicrous." Lucius snickered lightly at the thought; he hoped that both boys' were doing well at Hogwarts and that Harry wasn't too overwhelmed by the new environment. Then again, when living with Severus Snape as your guardian, you are pretty much prepared for anything.

Pale silver blue eyes roamed the book shelves, up and down, side to side, minute after minute these searched and searched to no avail. With a surprised gasp, Lucius began knocking each book off the shelf desperately searching for his current objective. Many upturned furniture and minutes later the tall slender man sank into his cozy armchair. His bones felt heavy and immobile, his body bore the weight of a thousand lifetimes that have never known contentment. His hair spilled across his face as his hand came to cover his face. Through the slit of two open fingers and wide silvery eye looked on towards the brick wall. His breathing was erratic as if he had ran a great marathon, his hair disheveled and a small bead of cold sweat, not sweat from sudden nervousness or stress but the kind that embodied sheer terror and disbelief, ran down the side of his face.

"The diary – where is the diary?"

Silence – a deafening silence that could drive the sane to scream and the unfounded to cry. It was a silence devised within stupor but most of all it was a silence that could be called unnatural, an abomination amongst the laws of sound for nothing could be so near non existent than the moment that Ronald Weasley's fist contacted with Harry Potter's jaw.

The red head slowly but effectively removed his hand from the affected area and could only stare in shock and trepidation as Harry slowly moved his head back to it normal position. There had been no gasp, no whimper, no exhalation of pain what so ever. Simple a chilling stoic silence, unmoving and unyielding. Ron slowly took a step back as he stared into those cold emerald eyes. Only a tiny trail of crimson blood flowed from Harry's mouth where the skin had begun to turn green and blue. However, Ron did not notice this; neither did Seamus or Jacob, all they could see were the cold rigidness of those eyes. If they had seen anger, fury, pain, even hate, it would have calmed their nerves to a sense of normalcy, but they saw none of it. There was nothing but an empty void within burning emerald eyes. Eyes like the devil, who would stare at you from the dark woods drawing you in and drowning you in his trance.

"What the hell?" cried Ron, his growing trepidation at the unwavering stare growing every second. Even the surrounding Slytherins could not help but feel the weight of that stare. They saw the emptiness, the lack of accusation, the raven haired boy had eyes like the midnight tiger whose roar filled the sky with anguish and yet, knew no warmth, no love, no feeling.

Vaguely did any of them hear the quick steps and purposeful steps of the Slytherin and Gryffindor heads of house. Hardly, did any recall the tall dark haired professor of Slytherin forcefully grab the red headed assailant nor do they recall the elderly stoic woman of Gryffindor step in front of the red head's other two companions. Nothing, not until those endless emerald eyes closed and Harry Potter moved away from the scene, sitting calmly next to Draco Malfoy. The small trail of blood and large forming bruise completely ignored by the ebony haired boy.

With that, sound erupted like a violent volcano, whispers and snickers littered the room creating a flock of rapidly repeating sounds. All mingling, all merging, all about one thing – Harry Potter; the previous silence, a non-existent thought compared to the loud bravado of gossip and interest.

However, Draco ignored them all, his thoughts shifting from anger to concern for his friend. Noticing the tickling blood and the forming bruise the blonde's eyes widened, springing him from his seat to care for his injured friend.

"Harry! You're bleeding!"

Slowly, the raven haired boy wiped away the offending crimson with a small swish of his finger, staring mesmerized by the fluid as if the idea of him bleeding were a foreign thought or is it reality. He could here the whispers of the Slytherins around him as they asked Draco if he was okay.

He heard the sound of Draco's frantic voice and turned to greet it. "Harry, come on, let's go to the hospital wing. You might have hurt something else if you're bleeding. Harry, please." Draco was on the verge of tears but held them back valiantly, not wanting to show weakness amongst his peers. He could see his Uncle and another professor yelling quite loudly at the three Gryffindors but were too far to be heard. Turning back to his friend, he hard many of the older Slytherins enquire about Harry, the blond merely ignored them and continued to speak to the raven haired boy. Finally, after what seemed like forever did he receive a response, as the boy turned the deep emerald eyes towards him.

"Draco?"

"Yes Harry, are you alright?"

"Are you okay Draco?"

"........Of course I'm okay! You took the hit for me. Now answer me, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"No you're not! You're bleeding and you face is swelling! Come on we are going to get you looked at."

Draco went to grab Harry and pull him from the table when suddenly a loud booming voice resounded from the teachers table.

"SILENCE!" said Dumbledore as his voice boomed powerfully yet calmly through out the great hall. He had been watching the entire event from the dais of the teacher's table. A smile on his face but a dark gleam in his eyes as he looked at Harry and Draco through out the sorting; it was apparent that Albus Dumbledore was not happy about Harry being in Slytherin or being friends with Draco Malfoy.

"Since the feast has apparently concluded, will all respective houses head to their dormitories? Mr. Malfoy please escort Mr. Potter to the infirmary. Mr. Weasley, Mr. Finnigan, and Mr. Donigan I will speak to you three after your Head of House has dealt with your transgressions.

After his announcements, the whole of the great hall moved silently towards their dormitories. Whispers of the earlier events continues as the walk to the dormitories was slow and a mass of moving bodies heading for the land of Morpheus, while Draco took Harry to the Hospital Wing.

The trek was slow and quiet as the rest of the students headed for their beds. It seemed the too quiet hall gave the two inseparable friends time to ponder on the earlier events. Or rather Draco ponder on the stupidity of one Ronald Weasley.

Before he was able to enter a heated debate between himself and Dragon, the sudden sound of quiet footsteps at the other end of the hall caused both boys to stop abruptly. They watched as a shadow stretched out of proportions by the decrepit candle light crept into view. Harry stood firmly by Draco's side, his body tense and ready for any threat. The blond boy was grateful to his raven haired companion for the added protection, but was comforted by the fact that he had always been assured that Hogwarts was a safe place. Draco was not a weak individual, no far from it. However, it was his child like innocence and soft demeanor that made seem delicate physically. The truth is that, Draco kept Harry rooted to reality; everyday showing the affection starved boy new ways to care, to laugh - to feel.

"Hello." the voice was sweet and feminine and yet familiar at the same time. The figure didn't move but that didn't give any change in the duo's stance of defense.

"I was looking for the library and got lost." it was a mediocre excuse that any Slytherin could of seen through, especially so late in the night.

"Who are you?" Draco asked his voice short and arrogant.

The shadow stepped out of the darkened area and into the moonlight. The blond immediately remembered her as the petit girl on the train earlier in the evening who had been searching for her cousin. He recalled that she had been sorted into Ravenclaw, her bushy hair seemed a bit more stale now that it was in a low ponytail but that didn't help with its natural frizz.

"I'm Hermione Granger. I think I remember you from the train. I'm in Ravenclaw." Hermione smiled at the two her eyes depicted childish curiosity and intrigue.

Draco let out an audible sigh; something he learned from his father."I'm Draco Malfo-"He didn't get to finish what he was saying because Hermione finished it for him.

"Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. Kind of hard not to remember you too with all the commotion." Hermione says smiling.

She walks towards them and noticed Harry's more than formed bruise. "He hit you hard didn't he." Hermione said rasing a hand to touch the black and blue flesh.

The touch was soft and cool against the warm skin. Harry flinched at the contact. He had never dealt with women before. Narcissa was probably the only one he knew but even then he had never allowed her to physically touch him. Having been deprived of the tender touch of a caring female; living his life with the only female touch being that of a harsh smack or beating from Petunia Dursley. Harry did not know what a small gesture had no repercussions, viewing all feminine touch as conniving and having a second agenda; not that he didn't suspect that of masculine touch, however, he was slowly becoming accustomed to being praised or caressed, especially by Draco. Draco's thoughts had traveled a similar direction during th exchange thus, when he saw Hermione inching her face closer to the raven haired boy's face, he couldn't help the cold dread that crept up his spine.

"My mother always did this when I got hurt." Hermione said before she leaned in and kissed his cheek. However, the soft plump lips never even so much as brushed skin before Harry had violently pushed her away. Such was the force of his push that the petite girl hit the wall hard before sliding to the ground. The bushy haired girl stared in object horror as Harry struggled to control himself. Power cackled and sparked from his very aura as conditioned instinct took control over rational thought.

However, all Hermione could do was stand and run as quickly as possible back to the Ravenclaw dorms, leaving a distraught Draco with an equally panicking Harry. The raven haired boy grabbed at his temples trying desperately to control what could not be controlled, his pale eyed companion's screamed fell on deft ear, as his world darkened inch by inch, plummeting him into agonized oblivion.

Severus entered the headmaster's office, a dark scowl plain on his features as he recalled the night's earlier events. The nerve of the Weasley boy to assault one of his Slytherins when unprovoked, it made his blood boil in fury. However, he knew that the boy would only suffer a minor punishment, now more than ever since it was clear to the tall slim man that Albus Dumbledore had not been happy about Harry Potter's sorting.

"Ah Severus, thank you for coming. There is a matter of a Mr. Potter that I wish to discuss" said the long bearded man softly, all ill contempt properly hidden from his tone.

"If you are enquiring as to why Mr. Potter has been sorted into Slytherin, then I suggest you ask that insufferable hat that you so enjoy keeping" said Severus snidely.

Dumbledore studied Severus briefly before retorting, "now Severus I merely wanted your opinion on the matter. After all the boy did defeat Voldemort, who knows what thing go through his young powerful mind."

'Oh, I can think of a few. Draco this, Draco that. Mostly Draco actually' thought Severus, fighting back the smirk that threatened to appear at the headmaster's own "supposed" ignorance.

"The boy is in my house, thus he is in my favor. It is clear that he has evidently befriended young Mr. Malfoy. The best we can do is watch the boy closely."

"Hmm, Severus I do hope you are not keeping anything from me. After all if I recall you and Lucius Malfoy are very good friends..."

"Were. Lucius Malfoy and I are nothing more than beneficial acquaintances. My time as your spy has created an unknown rift between us. After all and ambitious man as Lucius would not have appreciated my efforts to be the Dark Lord's second above him during the first reign."

"No, I suppose not" Dumbledore's voice held a mild skepticism that immediately told Severus to tread softly when Lucius ever came to Hogwarts.

"Severus, do you remember the agreement that was contracted upon your release to my services?" asked Dumbledore.

Severus narrowed his eyes and kept his voice even. This was not a good sign.

"Yes."

"I want you to begin it's preparation today. How long will it be until it is done?"

"In proximity, three to four months."

"Good. You are excused, please make sure that Mr. Potter is well cared for."

Severus understood the underlines in that last remark perfectly 'keep him towards our side or you'll suffer', nodding the ebony haired man left the offending office for the safety of his dungeons. However, he quickly recalled that Harry and Draco were most likely on their way to the infirmary and decided to make sure his young charges were well; especially a certain emerald eyed boy.

An: well there you have it chapter twelve. I know it's crap I really didn't like how this chapter came out. Frankly it was suppose to open for the next chapter and allow me to speed up time again. sigh Next chapter will conclude the last two scenes and maybe some info on what lucius is doing oh and did I forget yeah the diary.

An: I'm going to try and not take so long to update. I have a new computer the problem is finding time. I really apologize for having you wait. Thus why I make sure my chapters are more than five pages in length. This one is actually eight so I hope it's a nice lengthy chapter for your compensation.


	13. Ambiguity's Loss

Lost But Not Yet Broken

Chapter 13: Ambiguity's loss

An: OMG! Can you believe it I've actually updated. Holy crap I think I've sent all of you into shock. Well yes, my life has been crap since the year started thus my lack updating. I'm actually so depressed that I just started typing so that I could feel useful. I don't have a job I'm looking for one now. Which sucks cause I have no money for bills.

AN: Hopefully this chapter is decent considering the wait. I think I'm going to update Demon's Calling, I feel like torturing Sev for some reason. I'm being an evil bitch that's why. --

Warnings: oh god you don't even want to know. Frankly I don't even know. I'm typing this on a whim I haven't thought of the chapter yet. Heh bad me.

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_Just consider me your friend_

_  
I am until the end_

_  
Can I guarantee you life?_

_  
I don't think I can_

**Godsmack**: Faceless "I Am"

* * *

"_Worthless boy!"_

"_Trash!"_

"_Piece of shit, waste of space and air!"_

"_Useless, crying little bitch!"_

"_Your kind should never have been allowed to live!"_

"_You should have been drowned at birth!"_

"_Filthy rat!"_

"_You are nothing! You are here to serve and nothing more! Be grateful to even get the scraps that you get boy because that is all you will ever have! Any touch will always be followed by pain because that's the only way you freaks understand anything!"_

These were the words that rang inside the abandoned and unloved mind of one Harry Potter, as he awoke slowly to a brightly lit room and white sterile walls. The confused boy blinked rapidly as he tried to determine where he was. There was a strange tingling on the side of his face, an almost aching feeling that he couldn't place. Ignoring the feeling, the emerald eyed boy began to sit up, only to be stopped by a loud scolding voice.

"Harry Potter! You stay in that bed right now. Madame Pompfrey hasn't said that you could leave yet. By the way how do you feel?" commanded the bright but worried voice of a young Draco.

Harry stared dumbly at Draco, blinking rapidly as if in a stupor. Finally after what felt like eternity to Draco the emerald eyed boy responded.

"Dra…co?" asked Harry still slightly confused.

Draco gave his friend a wide innocent smile that lit up his silvery eyes so brightly, that they seemed to glow. However, before the blond boy could utter a word the strong baritone voice of his uncle resounded behind him.

"I see you've woken up" said Severus Snape as he stood rigid at the base of the small hospital bed. His face held a stern passiveness but his eyes held worry in their black cold depths.

"Uncle Sev!" Draco ran up to hug his uncle thoroughly. However, Snape kept an unwavering eye contact with Harry who looked back with out so much as a flinch.

"Harry, how are you feeling?" asked Severus.

Harry cocked his head to the side and perplexed expression on his face.

"You seemed to have gone through another episode; Draco was quite frantic when I found him"

"Dra..co?"

"Yeah Harry?"

"I'm s…."

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. I was just worried you know. Does your jaw hurt Harry?" Draco placed a gentle hand on the raven haired boy's swollen cheek. "Doesn't it hurt harry?"

Harry looked at Draco, slowly what happened earlier came back to him.

"No. Pain is ok."

Draco felt like crying, whether they were tears of happiness or of sorrow he really didn't know, all he knew was that his best friend was ok and yet he wasn't. The sudden rustle of black robes caught the boy's attention as Severus knelt down in front of Harry.

"Harry, is pain ok if it hurts Draco?"

Harry narrowed his eyes slightly at the question, confused by what the raven haired meant.

"No"

"Then if you are in pain you must tell me because Draco will be hurt if you are hurt."

"How?"

Severus didn't know how to word the answer in a way that Harry would comprehend. To Harry the only existent way for one to be hurt is through physical touch. It was physical pain that the boy had grown up with, his heart having become numb and cold long ago. Severus did not know how to convey to the depraved boy that his actions also hurt Draco emotionally. Telling him such would only confuse the emerald eyed boy more. It seemed to Severus more and more, that Draco was the only person who could actually get through to the boy. However, unlike Lucius, Severus did not believe that the raven haired boy should become only dependant on Draco. Harry needed to understand the inner workings of different emotions. Anger, humor, anguish, joy, hate, and love are what made one human. Right now Harry seemed to show only fear and a despair so deep that Severus could have drowned in it.

Severus could not help but allow a small comforting smile to grace his features as he addressed Harry's question. "You'll know in time Harry – for now, just trust Draco and me to take care of you."

"Take care? It does not…."

"It does matter Harry. You just don't understand yet. So, for now let it be understood?"

"Yes, Severus sir."

Severus wanted to laugh every time Harry said those words. He remembered quite distinctly how he had spent a good two weeks trying to get Harry to call him Severus. Of course this made for much amusement on Lucius' part and only irritated the raven haired man more. Finally, Harry had said his name but not without the "sir" at the end. This had sent Lucius into hysterics for a good hour or so until Severus felt the need to conjure a frog into the blond man's pant leg.

* * *

Draco had decided to help Harry out of bed while his uncle Sev wondered into memory lane.

"Come on Harry. Let's get to bed"

"Ok Draco."

Severus quickly snapped out of his trance upon seeing Harry and Draco heading towards the door. He bid them goodnight and hoped that tomorrow would be better than today. As he entered his chambers and settled in for the night, he had no idea of the danger that had entered Hogwarts.

* * *

Severus: wow. That was short for what how many months.

Draco: I know right.

Harry: well at least I wasn't beat or anything this time.

SW: oh shut up.

AN: sorry everyone for the extremely short chapter. Frankly it was the only way I could get myself out of the stuck I was in. The next chapter will progress more. With the diary and Lucius and stuff like that. I know It doesn't make up for such a long wait I promise to update again very soon.


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